Last year, my (22nb) partner (20m) of almost 3 years left me. They described it as “needing a break” from the relationship. I fell into a deep depression and all my friends ended up either drifting away from me or cutting contact completely. This includes a friend I have known for around 15 years, and considered to be more of a brother. I tried reaching out to him several times but despite people saying he had said he wants to be my friend, he rejected every attempt to rebuild. The only person I really have any contact with now is my ex. Said ex has said several times that he wants to at some point get back together, and we remained close despite everything. The other day, it came out that my ex has gotten into a relationship with my former best friend. As selfish as it may sound, I am devastated by this. I’ve been trying my hardest to move on, make new friends, find a new partner, but this is too much. I have been suicidal in the past and I just have no idea how I’m going to get through this. All I can see happening is me killing myself. I have no support system and no friends I am close enough to confide in. How do I get through this? If anything the only reason I have to stay alive is to get back with my ex. The only thing that has kept me from killing myself is the naive idea that we where gonna work things out. Sorry for the wall of text. If anything I just needed to get this out. If anyone can help me, please, just say something. How do I get through this alive?
A few things I forgot to add. My partner was at the time of the breakup, living with my former friend as a room-mate. Another thing is that my ex is trans masc. I am bisexual, and always treated him as nothing but a man. My former friend is a straight guy who expressed interest in my ex being his “girlfriend”
1 comment
You should most definitely separate from your ex. This person has disrespected you on more than one occasion and is showing you that they care more for themselves and their needs. I think it’s time you return that favor and place your needs above his and find someone who is more deserving of you. Because that person is out there.
The universe is trying its hardest to gently nudge you into a period where you have to focus on and save yourself. Trust me, I know how hard it is, and how much easier it is when you have someone to talk to or lean on. But these are the life lessons that break you, so that they can make you.
You can do better. Ask yourself why you are waiting around for someone who is making you an option. It’s a question of self love and value. You are a priceless human being, but you’ll never feel that way hanging around with assholes like him lol.