I feel guilt, shame, sadness. I want to reach out and say yes, i agree with all the times you asked me. you’re right i was acting from a point of trauma or insecurity. I have started therapy like you asked! I came out of an abusive relationship before datng and since i felt fine, i thought i was fine. but i just had bad coping skills. I would start arguments instead of communicating, would not compromise, would not see her out. etc. Nothing crazy but, broke her sense of security
i know it’s probably just too late, hurt them too many times. When we brokeup they said how much they loved me and how much they don’t want to do but feel nothing is changing or will work.
I’ve been wondering if there is some magic, but also wondering if there’s any tips for dealing with it. I feel like i should not bother them, but also since i was the issue i can’t imagine they would suddenly reach out and be like hey did you change!
TL:DR I came out of an abusive relationship for years before meeting her, she was amazing but I had unhealthy coping mechanism. She finally had enough and it was enough to spark my recognition of my actions. i feel guilty and miss her, tips?
6 comments
This is what therapy is for.
Fill the space they took up in your life with healthy habits, friends, activities.
Do not contact them.
Take this as a learning experience. When you date someone else, be very careful. I would not contact your ex. What’s done is done. Your dynamic has been shaped your experiences and relationship with one another. It’s hardly to break it now. Just move on and don’t make the same mistake again in your next relationship.
Do not reach out. Focus on your therapy and working on yourself. She left for her own good, leave it at that.
Let it go. Be better in your next relationship.
Keep up with your therapy.
Leave her be. Missing her hurts, I get it. But you *hurt her* enough for her to leave despite her love for you.
So you need to find your way without her.
Let her find her joy and safety without you. She deserves that.
Those answers to what you have been asked by her are yours to settle in your mind. They aren’t going to affect her like they affect you.