I went out with a “friend” today and it was so weird. We’ve been known each other for a while but it just doesn’t feel like we’re moving in the relationship. I have a tendency to hold on to relationships even if they’re dead or destructive to me. We’re went to a museum then some dinner. But I didn’t have fun at all. It felt awkward and forced. She says we’re fine and that I’m her friend. But she’s not the way with me like she is with all her other friends. Throughout the entire day, not a genuine laugh was shared between us. We laughed but about random or irrelevant shit. It just feels off.
Should I keep her at arm’s length or cut her off?
Should I keep things the way they are since she says that I’m feeling this on my own. She doesn’t relate at all, so she says.
Edit: we’ve known each other for a year but it’s not going anywhere. I’m not interested in her romantically, I just wish we’d be actually close. Like we can grow to the point where I want to call her and tell her about the personal shit that made my day bad. Tell her about the shit I tell no one else. I don’t have a village, let alone a hut. So I had hoped she could be my person. The person who’ll be there on happy and sad days. The person she calls when she’s trying to avoid someone.
2 comments
I’m afraid I don’t understand. Not all your friends will be close friends. I’m feeling an undercurrent here – are you into this person, and they’re not reciprocating? Do you want a physical relationship with this person?
It would help if you explained how long you’ve known them, what you’re not getting out of the relationship that perhaps you used to, and what’s making the connection feel dead or destructive.
So even she agrees that you don’t relate at all. Sounds to me like you don’t need to do anything like keeping her at arm’s length or ending the friendship, because there’s already distance between you.
If Person A thinks they’re on the same page, but Person B thinks they aren’t, Person B is right.
When you say “I feel like we aren’t really connecting” and they say “That’s all in your head”, **you are right by definition**.