As the title says, my girlfriend of 6 years found a fake blue fingernail and now I’m a cheater.
It started off with me a work receiving a picture of a fake blue fingernail saying if I was cheating she would chop my dick off. I thought this was a joke and laughed it off because I would never think of bringing another girl into the apartment without her. but the messages kept coming saying I somehow snuck someone into our apartment while she was at work. My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years (18-24) and I thought our trust was really strong because we always talk about our future together.
The argument is still going on because I don’t know what to say about the fake fingernail. Even as far as her thinking I’m some disgusting dog. It’s a mystery to me how it got there but she does have female friends come over and we just moved into this apartment 3 months ago.
At this point I just don’t know what to say, I hate fighting/ feeling worried we might break over something I truly have no idea about. I wish after 6 years I would get the benefit of the doubt but if the roles were reversed I’m afraid I’d act the same way. What can I do fellow Reddit friends ?
26 comments
Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who has no trust in you even after 6 years ?
If you think it could belong to one of her friends could you (or get her to) ask them? If one of them has been over wearing those blue nails in the past few months they would remember/recognise it.
I feel like their may be something that led her up to believing you are cheating and this felt like evidence to her of her suspicion. I’d let her cool off and have a talk about what else is on her mind. Because a blue finger nail is wierd and my wife would probably ask me about it but it can easily be there by accident. Now I gotta say. You didn’t start dating her when she was 12 right? You started dating at 18-34, or you are now 18-24? . If it’s the latter then I’m not surprised she’s having emotion issues.
Is it possible she’s projecting? A lot of time people who are actually cheating see suspicious behavior in everything around them.
Also, you moved in 3 months ago. It could be from a previous tenant. It could be from a guest. It could even be part of some stupid test she’s putting you through.
Whatever the actual origin of the fingernail, her behavior and unwillingness to discuss it rationally are a massive red flag.
I have not had a real tree for 7 years, (after I found out I’m allergic to them which is besides the point). I am STILL finding needles when I clean.
It’s from a previous tenant or one of her friends.
But she revealed something about herself that you could pay attention to.
No one going to mention she threatened to chop his duck off?
Bloody red flag
Here is the deal dude. The truth doesn’t matter, her first conclusion is to call you a cheater. You could solve this little mystery with an innocent explanation but you can’t take back that she doesn’t trust you.
Feel free to hang out for another year or two while this relationship eats itself but once that seed is planted, there is really no coming back from it.
all of this is out of your control, how the nail got there, if she can trust you. theres nothing you can do it about it but let go
like i wouldnt fight it, i wouldnt try to prove anything further. just tell her its her decision to make to trust you or not, you told her the truth, its all up to her, theres nothing else you can do about it. if its not meant to be more than it has, its not meant to be
Random things do happen. One time, my fiancé’s friend (F) invited us and a couple friends to hangout by the pool. When it was time to change into our swimsuits, she told me to go in her bedroom. I brought extra clothes to change after the pool, and while I was pulling out my swimwear from my bag, my underwear fell out. The room was dark, with only a lamp on so I didn’t realize. She and another friend came in right after and found the underwear, trying to figure out why it was there and if it had something to do with her bf. I came in room and saw them holding it and told them quickly it was mine.
If I hadn’t, the poor guy would’ve gotten blamed. Made me realize how one simple mistake can cause a huge problem.
Full disclosure, I was on the other side of this situation.
I was gone on military orders and came home for a weekend to find an earring at the bedside. It was awful. It wasn’t an earring I had seen before and my husband never told me he had accidentally found an earring.
I sat there for a second trying to collect myself before speaking up. As soon as I did and my husband saw the earring, he was on his knees. He brought out his shoe with the hole where the earring attached itself to the sole while he was at work.
He spoke so quickly, apologizing and explaining. It was easy to see the panic in his eyes. Among his first words were “I know this looks bad, baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry this hurt you.”
It’s not about the fake nail. It’s about trust. Fight against it, not against each other.
Y’all are joking right? She threatened to *chop his dick off*. Regardless of how this plays out, that is a HUGE problem.
These things can get stuck to your shoes and tracked home. I feel like if some woman was in my home she’d definitely notice and say something about a nail falling off before leaving and as a guy you’d be a dumbass to not turn that place upside down to find it if you’re cheating. Logically if it’s just laying there it got there by happenstance. Shit *she* may have been the one to track it into the house.
Sounds like a stupid TikTok trust challenge.
I moved into an apartment 6 months ago that a woman lived in before and I still find her long black hair every now and then. Not out of the question it was just under an appliance or hidden in some crack in the skirting board / floor. But she will never believe it so good luck.
My wife threw a girls weekend and had more than 12 girls come stay. A few months later she found panties that weren’t hers under a couch cushion or something. She was convinced I was cheating (I never have) — and very upset and suspicious for a while. No amount of the most obvious explanation could get her to stop worrying. Ultimately, I just had to take the approach of “if you want to worry about that you will suffer more than me — my conscious is clear.” I wiped away the thought and she got over it after a while. Now she doesn’t remember but I do. Kinda red flaggy behavior. At least she brought it up instead of going into some nasty passive stealth mode. I’m more worried about the chop your sick off threat. That’s super unhealthy and wrong of her to say.
Have her ask her friends. I had this happen with a pair of women’s underwear that were found in my clean laundry. Ten years I never did anything wrong and she was sure I was cheating. Ended up being her cousins who stayed with us recently.
Couples therapy my dude.
I know you’re worried that her first thought was to accuse you of cheating and that she doesn’t trust you but you have to keep in mind that people who have been married for 20-30 years they also cheat. Honestly speaking that’s a pretty standard reaction and you would have done the same had it been you who had found like a cuff-link or something in the house.
Show her a little more patience. Show her this thread even. Don’t lovebomb her cus then that’d be even more suspicious. Reinforce that you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her and your cat. Insist on going to couples therapy so that you can work through your issues in an organized setting. Sometimes it’s better to have a third party view of things.
Do you have fake eyelashes on your headboard too?
“I’ve never cheated on you, and I have no idea where that nail came from, I’ve never seen it before. But I don’t date girls who threaten to assault me, so I’m breaking up with you.”
All this BS about her not trusting you may seem like sound logic, but in all likelihood she’s not being malicious. Everyone has heard horror stories about their friends, or family, or in TV shows or movies, or on reddit, of someone being cheated on. After a few of those, everything will seem suspicious, just like after a horror movie every gust of wind will seems like a ghost. It definitely feels shitty to be on the receiving end, and you’re entitled to feeling wronged of course, but just sit down with her and tell her 1. you 100% didn’t cheat, and never would. 2. you don’t know who the nail belongs to, and you just moved in 3 months ago, so it’s most likely the previous tenants 3. ask her what would prove that you didn’t cheat – she’ll most likely realize that she’s condemning you too quickly if she considers that.
Updateme!
It’s a fucking apartment. Anyone who has lived in one knows that there will 100% be shit left behind by the previous tenant.
Horror story: I’m pretty sure my last apartment’s previous tenant died in the tub, because I found a wad of flesh, blood, and hair under the soap dish in my bathtub. While I was taking a bath 🥲
Cutting dick off seems like a very scary thing to say. I think your relationship is hard to safe. Does she often threaten you like that?
You’re not going to convince her you’re not a cheater, the issue is you cannot disprove a negative. There are so many *reasonable explanations* for the fingernail but she’s already decided this *completely implausible one* is the only answer. Maybe she’s cheating, maybe one of her BFF’s boyfriends is cheating, maybe she tracked in a nail from the subway on her shoe, maybe it fell out of someone’s pocket….who knows? But I definitely know that if she doesn’t care to listen to you about this and see your history for what it is then it’s problematic for your relationship. If you start bending or *reporting in* or changing your behavior due to this she’ll see it as an acknowledgment of guilt.
On a side note, as a woman, I find it very unlikely that any *other woman* strolls into a young man’s apartment *that he shares with his girlfriend* and doesn’t know a woman lives there. It doesn’t happen. You’ve been to your single friends places right? You *know* they’re a bunch of men living alone, right? It’s very obvious in the home/bedroom of a single young man and a coupled up young man living with a woman. Decor, personal care products, clothing, bedding, housekeeping in general. C’mon.
You should probably run if want to keep your dick
6 years? So… 12 and 18???