What’s the manliest thing you’ve ever done?

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1. Started a business that pays my employees enough to pay for their kids college. Married my high school sweetheart. Raised our 6 kids. Killed a large black bear with a chefs knife.

2. I impregnated my wife. A viable child was the result.

   And note: He is now an adult.

3. Stood up/standing up for someone that wasn’t/isn’t able to stand up for themselves.

   This is done both when that person was not around (in a group of people and gossip and trash talking of said person was taking place) and also in person (different person/stranger berating a cashier at a hardware store).

4. Ran into my neighbor’s house that was on fire to help get the father (who was bed-ridden) out.

5. I installed a garage door opener all by myself a few weeks ago having never done that before.

   -hf

6. Existed. I’m the chuck Norris of manliness.

   And before you say “Chuck Norris is the chuck Norris of being a man” I didn’t have to sell total gyms, therefore I win.

7. Having 10 men at once.

8. Confronted my ex-boss when he was making fun of a dishwasher employee during a busy evening in the restaurant.

9. Fucked a man

10. Took my balls out when the cops told me to calm down in a bar

11. Left my girlfriends cozy, paid for home to struggle and the gain the self respect of living on my own.

12. Five guys were surrounding a very drunk young woman at a Fourth of July event and starting doing grabby things. I was with my girlfriend and had no backing, but I stood between her and them and ended the whole situation.

13. Did the helicopter with my chopper

14. Punched my unemployed, abusive, alcoholic dad who thought he could get away with disrespecting and abusing my mom and elder sister. That shut him up for good.

15. Completed a responsibility that should never have been mine alone to start with.

16. One that come to mind, although I don’t think doing so is necessarily gender-specific:

    A young lady at a party was surrounded and repeatedly badgered to take her shirt off by a group of guys (3 of which were my friends at the time). I told her if she wanted to, it was one thing; but if she didn’t, I would see her safely out of the situation. She looked at me appreciatively, and the guys backed off, so didn’t need to go further. (Confession: she was very fine, and I was hoping she would – just didn’t like the badgering.)

17. Pissed off and very vocal at my parents decision for me being cirmusided.

    Damn them to hell…

18. Tracked and shot a wild pig, then carried it out and broke it down. Cooked many meals for the family with it. Feels good man!

19. Well I’m not sure if this was the manliest thing I’ve ever done but, when I was very little I offered to take a spanking for my older brother when he got in trouble. I wasn’t involved in any way I just didn’t want to see him get hurt. If I remember correctly my parents dropped the charges.

20. I’ll have you know I stubbed my toe once and only cried for 5 minutes.

21. I was remodeling a bathroom late in my wife’s pregnancy. Acutely aware that she would not be happy if there was still a dirty, noisy project going on in the house when the baby came, and if the baby was premature, I was fucked. I was working every night after work and all weekend to finish it up.

    4th of July rolled around and I was pumped because I had a whole free day in the middle of the week. Got up early, was groggy when I was ripping the last few boards of flooring on my shitty old freebie table saw. A board jumped up, and being groggy I tried to snatch it out of the air instead of just letting it fly. Stuck my index finger right into the blade and gave myself a deep, jagged cut that tore off about 1/3 of the nail and just ruined my fingertip. Index finger of my dominant hand, too. Pouring blood.

    I went upstairs and woke my wife, got her help wrapping it up, and then had to consider whether to go to the ER. It’s a holiday, so regular doctors will be closed. On such a day, the ER can get really busy. So I said fuck it, I’m not losing a day. I built a cushiony splint kind of thing around it to protect it, and went back to work. I got a lot of work done and hauled the last of my scrap to the dump. It was…excruciating. My finger was throbbing the whole time, but *working* with it was even more painful. Swinging a hammer with a fingertip all torn up, just sucks. Every strike of the hammer made it sing. And many times I forgot that I couldnt bend my finger, so I just jammed it right into something.

    Anyway, I got a whole lot accomplished and my wife looked at me at the end of the day with a mixture of awe, pride and unmitigated love. She knew I only worked through the pain because I was determined to do everything possible to get this project done before the baby came, for her peace of mind. We could have just cleaned up and sealed off that bathroom and just used the other one, but it would have bothered her every day until it was done. I was damned if I was going to have that though.

    I did visit the regular doctor the next day, but the swelling was too great for him to put in stitches, so I had to just let it heal from the inside out. Much slower. And I still had a few days of heavy work to do before finishing and painting. It SUUUUUUCKED.

22. Kill streak currently 7/0/28