how to stop panicking at the gym?

37 comments

1. May be hard to hear, but most people don’t care about you as much as you think. Keep that in mind and it’s easier to go to public places with a function you’ve paid for and use the function just like everyone else. You’re entitled to be there and exercise free from anyone else’s judgment or scrutiny and just focus on yourself. I believe in you, keep going.

2. This is maybe a bit of a “rich person’s solution” – but is getting a personal trainer or joining a class an option for you?

   A personal trainer will keep you accountable (both to show up, and to stay for the whole time) – and they will show you how to do the movements and use the machines correctly. And – unless they really suck as a personal trainer – they will understand that making you comfortable is a critical part of keeping you as a client.

   Then – all you have to do is just show up every day – and just sorta be on autopilot as they run the show for you.

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4. come up with or review your list of fitness goals. figure out all the exercises that support them. this could be something like: run 1 mile, do goblet squats, lunges, something with weights, etc. so when you go to the gym, you can pick what feels good at the moment. you don’t need to worry if one area is crowded, just go to a different area. and then when you’re done with that you know where you can go next. no need to look around aimlessly and try to decide what to do. go in with a plan.

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6. Its a spotlight effect. It’s like walking into a grocery store thinking everybody is watching you. In reality nobody GAF. Just go in there with your headphones/earbuds on, say good morning or whatever and continue with YOUR day. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment.

7. It’s funny cause me being pretty familiar with how it is that environment I’m pretty sure that the most muscular guys are the ones that will encourage you the most to keep on pushing

   So I find it kind of funny that you feel intimidated by probably the most encouraging people in the gym.

8. Do you have anxiety in places that you go to regularly, too? For instance grocery shopping? Or are you used to those places so it’s a ton better?

   I know EXACTLY how you feel and personally, what helped to me is introduce me to this experience like they introduce anxious children to an experience.

   – The first exercise is going 5 times, JUST going, and just do ONE simple exercise, not more! Maybe some simple cardio and get to know where the lockers and loos are and so on. DON’T do a complex program straight away. Just do 10 or 15 minutes, that’s totally fine!! And THAT in itself is big!

   – AFTER THAT, after those 5 times or so, you can add on maybe 1 machine, figure out how it works. And then take time with that!

   – 5 times AFTER THAT, you add on maybe 2-3 more machines.

   You can obviously skip steps if you feel ready, or stay at one step if you don’t yet feel ready!

   **You’re socially anxious, so going to a new place is a challenge PER SE.** You don’t need to put all kinds of additional challenges on top. The first challenge is going and doing ONE simple exercise! So do that 5-10 times and just do some simple cardio. After you got the hang of GOING (Girl I KNOW how hard it is, don’t downplay this as easy!!! IT IS HARD!!!), THEN you add on further challenges with weights and so on.

   Worked for me! Good luck! Also tell your difficulties to a friend and tell them to hype you up if you manage to JUST go and do one simple activity there.

   And I also advise against the “just don’t be a pussy” bullshit. IMO that way of tackling anxiety is bullshit in 95% of cases. Be gentle and patient and go small steps. **Neither bully yourself, nor just give up! Gentle, patient, small, consistent steps**.

9. First, as others have noted, no one is paying that kind of attention to you.

   Second, consider doing some at-home workouts for the first six weeks or so. That way you won’t be starting from square one at the gym.

   Lastly, try to reframe the fear that people are watching and judging you to one where you get to show off how quickly you improve. You make a lot of relatively quick gains when you first start out, and it’s really satisfying to up your workout routine every other session while everyone else is staying constant.

   One more thing, if it helps: I rarely notice what other people are doing at the gym, but if I do see a new, skinny or out of shape person my initial thought is “good for them”. I’m NOT judging them because I remember being in that same situation five years ago. We were all there at one point or another.

10. So I also always felt really uncomfortable at the gym just like you, not quite as panic-y but still really uncomfortable. The solution for me was to go with a friend who was far more knowledgeable on the matter, so I have someone to guide me and also hold me accountable for actually showing up.

    That actually has really worked for me. I’ve made a lot of progress and gained a enough knowledge to be far more comfortable around a gym on my own.

11. The only people who I judge at the gym are those who are judging others.

    Gym is the place to look weird, to struggle, to find how to be comfortable in your skin.

    Words might not help I was where you are 5 years ago. Try joining a casual gym like Planet Fitness where there are a ton of people just like you, just starting. Then level up your gym to something more intense

12. Are you looking and gawking and judging everyone else? No, you’re not. So no one is looking at you.

    I teach a fitness class. What I find is that the class members barely look at me. They’re watching themselves in the mirror, listening for my cues. Trust me, the fitness coach wants to help you reach your goals. Let them help you.

    You can do this!

13. > i always find myself panicking and deciding to stay at home

    I have this problem man, but in general with social situations, I’m still in university so unless it’s going to class, I go because I have to, but in some social situations I get very indecisive at times, I know I have to put myself out there in order to improve my social skills and stuff but it’s quite daunting at times, sometimes wine does the trick and kill the indecision, it’s a constant grind against our own minds lol, it sucks but it is what is haha.

14. I am a fat guy. But I have started lifting weights. I try to do 2 muscle groups per day, 5 sets of 10 reps each.

    There are days when I can’t do it, I just try to do what I can and go home. No point in half assing it.

    I can’t even lift the barbell when doing bench press, my arms shake when extending the barbell out fully with 0 added weight. But I used to think people would laugh – no one cares. Some even offered to spot me.

    As long as you’re putting in work, people see it.. and you have no reason to panic.

15. If nobody cares advice is still not working for you, find a 24/7 gym and go at odd hours when you find gym empty….that will definitely help

16. I used to feel like this. The way I got over it is by just going. I know it’s easier said than done, but as you become more knowledgeable and experienced, you gain confidence and it becomes a snowball effect. Just remember that even IF anyone is looking at you, what they’re thinking is “good for him for wanting to better himself”. When I see new people at the gym, I want to help them with form, knowledge or some good recourses, but then I get self conscious myself cus I don’t wanna come off as egotistical or patronizing. My first year of going to the gym, I skipped leg day pretty often was so self conscious of my legs. Now the reason I skipped leg day is because I knew my legs weren’t strong so I was afraid of people judging me. Then one day I worked out with a friend and he put on some weight that I couldn’t even do 1 rep on. He made fun of me so hard and told everyone he could and they made fun of me. I was in the marines so people ripping on each other is normal, but it still hurt until one day I said fuck it they can judge all they want, but ima get some thick ass quads. Now I get compliments on my legs pretty often. I could barely squat 185. It went up to 355 its not crazy heavy, but im proud of it.

17. No one at the gym really cares. I’m not really that built at all and frankly look embarrassing doing some exercises, and usually don’t even get a second glance. Everyone is there for themselves, and people will respect you more for trying

18. Ask your self one question. What ever other people think about you , good or bad . Does that affect how you breath, how you think? Basically what point I am trying to make is, what people think , good or bad about you doesn’t make any change in your life , really!
    So do what’s best for You!

19. Nobody cares about you! (Hope you take that the right way lol)
    And if you’re still that self conscious, start by doing calisthenics at home.
    But I recommend getting over that fear first
    Or go during obscure hours when less ppl are there

20. +1 on a lot of comments here about how people don’t care. Just a practical suggestion – wear a hat might help to just block your eyes from wandering around. I go to gym regularly and when I want to have a really good workout with my headphone, I found wearing a hat helps me to focus more

21. It can definitely be intimidating but if it makes you feel better the first month or so that you go is the easily hardest. Once you start going consistently you’ll gain confidence and start to enjoy going. If I were you I would make it your goal and focus to have the best workout you can every time you go in. Whenever you notice yourself starting to panic just switch your focus back to each set, each rep, each lift. Hopefully this helps and know if you can get through the beginning stage of lifting then you’ll be super proud of yourself.

22. Bring a friend with you, makes it more comfortable and then next time you’ll be more confident to be there even alone. At least that’s what happened to me

23. FWIW, whenever I see someone on any extreme end of the scale of body weight at the gym, I only have respect for them. They want to improve themselves and they are doing something about it, like everyone else under that roof.

24. I had the same crippling anxiety about going to the gym/running and lifting weights in front of people. You have to force yourself to go and it will get easier. By avoiding the gym, those anxious thoughts will continue and increase because your brain is telling your body, gym = anxiety the longer you avoid going. I promise you it will get easier every time you go. Try going with a friend or working out with a coach again. And try performing exercises at home (lunges, squats, etc) so you feel more comfortable when you go to the gym. Do not avoid friend! You can overcome these fears! Start today. Think about how proud and happy you will feel knowing you faced your anxiety.

25. Start with something small like the treadmill. Just go to the gym and walk/run on the treadmill for a few weeks and slowly you feel a lot more comfortable going. I had a lot of anxiety going to the gym as well and just stuck with the treadmill when I first started and now idgaf.

26. What helps me is wearing a baseball cap really low over my eyes, and I’ll tell you why. It helps me focus on whatever is directly in front of me because when I pull it low I can only see my feet essentially, kinda like horse blinders that they wear for their races to help them not get frightened. And maybe wear a hoodie if you’re concerned about body image. Either way the only way to overcome this fear is to go to the place that scares you. No one really cares about what you’re doing anyways, even if they did they’re NPCs.

27. Alternative idea – do you *need* to go to a gym to reach your fitness goals?

    I agree with the other advice here about social anxiety and getting more confident the more you workout. But, the gym is not the be-all-end-all of fitness 🤷‍♀️

    I use to drag myself to the gym, put on headphones, watch TV and go at off hours to tune out the environment as much as possible. It was a chore I did because I wanted to lose weight, and the gym seemed like the place I *had* to go to achieve that goal.

    Then I discovered walking outdoors, and hiking, and swimming, and other active hobbies. I realized I actually *enjoyed* working out if it was outdoors or solo. It wasn’t a chore anymore, I did it more often and was much happier.

28. You need to keep whatever you’re doing in the tolerable range for you. If you’re panicking, you’re pushing yourself too far, and it’s counterproductive because then you go backwards. In other words: if you panic when you go to the gym, you’ll be *less* likely to go to the gym in the future, which means your situation has gotten *worse.*

    Ask yourself this question: What can I do that would count as *progress* (meaning it’s more than you’re doing now), which is at least a little bit challenging, but which you know you can do? It sounds like going to the gym and doing a full workout is too much. So can you go to the gym, walk up to the door, and then go home without going in? Does that sound too easy for you, or too hard for you? You then adjust your goal in response. If walking up to the door is too hard, can you drive to your gym, sit in the parking lot for a little while, then drive home?

    The important thing is *sustainability*. There’s no point in going to the gym just once; in order to get the benefit you basically have to do it consistently for your whole life. But you can’t do anything consistently if it’s that painful and unpleasant for you. The goal shouldn’t be “go to the gym everyday, starting today”. It should be “every day, do something that gets me at least a little bit closer to going to gym habitually.” And the only way to keep that up is to be compassionate with yourself and make sure you’re only pushing yourself as much as you can handle without freaking out or hating your life.

    Another great tool is mindfulness meditation. With this, you’ll learn that, if you feel like everyone is judging you, you don’t have to think “OMG everyone is judging me, this is horrible,” nor do you have to fight it, like “I hate feeling like this, why can’t this feeling stop?” You can actually sit back in your own mind as an observer, and just be interested: “Hm, I feel scared, and I notice thoughts that say that people are judging me. I wonder why this is happening right now? How do I know if these thoughts are true or not?”

    We can tell you “people aren’t really judging you,” but in order for that knowledge to be effective, you have gain the ability to see how your own thoughts can be lies. When you meditate, you realize: thoughts are just messages in your head, no different than when other people are talking to you. Sometimes people tell the truth, sometimes they lie, sometimes they have your best interest in mind, sometimes they have their own selfish purposes in mind.

29. I’ll echo a few thoughts already expressed here. Nobody cares about how you feel or think at the gym…a passing glance is just that..

30. Try ERP: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/ge7hcg/a_diy_guide_to_erp/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/ge7hcg/a_diy_guide_to_erp/)

    It’s something you can do on your own, and it can help tremendously.

31. People who don’t regularly go to the gym don’t realize this, but gyms are actually one of the least judgmental places.

    I think especially so for particularly skinny or overweight people.

    People do judge each other at the gym, but that’s just human nature.

    I can tell you that 99% of the in-shape people at the gym, when they see out of shape people there, they think “good for them”.

    All those heavily muscled and in shape people at the gym were once out of shape, they’ve been the weak out-of-shape person themselves, and they love to see others get in shape.

    I can tell you, you’re not bothering anyone when you ask for help, unless they’re in-the-zone and look busy.

    People there want to be helpful and encouraging to newbies.

    Even the most dedicated/buff gym-bros will be more than happy to help and encourage you. And if they’re looking at you, they’re not making fun of you in their mind, they’re thinking, “good for them, I hope they stick at it”.

    Don’t be afraid to ask the coach for help again, they’ll be glad you asked, honestly.

    And just follow their advice, follow their program, after 1 month of going 3+ times per week you’ll get into it, then you’ll start to see progress in your strength and body shape, and you’ll love it.

    In 1-2 years time, you’ll see newbies come in, and you’ll look at them, and you’ll know yourself the thought pattern gym goers have towards newcomers. You’ll be rooting for them.

    Don’t give up.

32. Save some money and hire a Personal Trainer. Think of it as an investment into yourself that will completely change your future gym experiences.

33. say “fuck it, who cares”

34. Start small, just get dressed in your gym clothes, then have a self check in…doing OK so far? Try driving to the gym parking lot and parking with no requirement to go in. Have a self check in while you’re parked there…feel ok? Try going in and doing 1 machine/exercise set and see how you feel mentally…feel ok? Try another 1.

    At any point it gets to be too much then *give yourself permission * to leave

    Keep in mind…almost no one at the gym is paying attention to anyone beyond “is that machine open”

    You can do it! We believe in you! We’re rooting for you!

35. The secret is to know that everyone is so self obsessed with their own insecurities that they can’t even noticed someone else

36. Go when there’s not as many people, just keep going. Eventually you’ll stop caring

37. Every single time I am at the gym and see someone new doing their best the only thought that comes to mind is, “you’re doing it buddy!” A small snicket of pride for a fellow person making strides to better health. Anyone who judges you for giving something a go deserves that negativity redirected two fold back at them. They aren’t worth your invested time and energy. I bet it’s more then likely if someone does notice, they are just happy someone else is at the gym giving it their best.