Me: 51 F
Her: 46 F
In a relationship for 10 months
Our salaries are pretty similar but our financial situations are not.
Right now it’s not a big deal because we haven’t blended finances but now that we’re seriously thinking about a future together I have concerns.
I’ve been saving all my life for retirement and she has not.
I have about $350,000 saved for retirement and no debt.
She has almost no retirement savings and has $30,000 in student loans plus some credit card debt. Also, many years ago she declared bankruptcy but her credit is back to good now.
Money isn’t everything, for sure, but do I want to be saddled with someone else’s debt when I sacrificed for all these years to have a good retirement? Am I being selfish? Or am I right to have some misgivings here?
Any thoughts or advice?
Tl;dr: I have retirement savings. My girlfriend has debt. Am I selfish to be concerned about a future with her because of how different we are about money? (Our salaries are similar but our spending/saving is not.)
3 comments
Student loans are very common and your situation is not. Unless she is frivolous with her money (I.E. racks up her credit cards, doesn’t pay bills/pay on time, etc) then you shouldn’t be worried.
>to have a good retirement?
Your life expectancy is some 35 years remaining? So, you’re figuring $350,000 / 35 or $10,000/year ($30/day) represents a ‘good’ retirement? Plus any pensions you’re entitled to and government assistance. You’ll be working another 14-24 years? So perhaps your growing savings and shorter period will allow for $20-$30,000/year as retirement income.
Do you own your own home free and clear? As RENT can take a whopping chunk of our savings/earnings.
Is she earning enough above her living expenses to be slowly but surely paying down her debt(s)? And, has she been consistently doing so? To have an outstanding student loan in her mid-fourties does seem, odd (and disconcerting). Are your finances something that attracts her to you? Are you two living in a “common law” province/state (where after 14 more months, ‘spousal rights’ accrue)?
don’t get married. Dont take out any loans together. Look up common law marriages in your state and talk to an asset protection lawyer in your area. Itll cost a few hundred bucks but they can help you make good decisions to protect yourself.