SITUATION:
I had a question for you all because I’m quite well I can’t reach out to anyone else and I wouldn’t say I’m depressed but just don’t know where to start with my social situation. Let me make it clear I am not an introvert, I talk to everyone I can chat with anybody really and have a good conversation and I can meet someone for a day get into deep conversations learn their deepest darkest secrets so much about them but then I don’t really have a memorable experience so nothing really comes from it. I have some great “friends” but no real friends.
NOTE(above)\^: I thought about this as writing the note down further and well I had a group of friends I hung out with for a while but there was something there that didn’t quite click with me and I didn’t vibe with them because they were very… well not a good fit for me I guess so I have been kinda bouncing between partially formed groups but ended up getting nowhere because well they were all not a good fit, which is why I’m looking for my Boys specifically because I feel like I just need some good old Boys like I used to have in high school. I don’t want to get put in a place I don’t actually enjoy or am not as close because of my gender
I started my freshman year and l was super social, I talked to everyone and tried to meet some close friends to be happy with, I would walk around campus talk to people in classes talk to people out of classes and met some really stellar people! I met so many people during my first few weeks of Uni as everyone does but things changed obviously because now I can’t say I have any friends.
“FRIENDS” but not Friends
And let me clear that up it’s not that I have no “friends” it’s that I have no friends. I don’t have many close friends, I have people I can snap and text and I am on a intramural volleyball team but I don’t speak to many of those people out of classes and like volleyball but they are awesome but they seem to already have their groups and I don’t want to quite like reach out to them because I feel like I don’t want to just invade a group that’s already established. Point is I’m looking for some close boy’s that I can drink with, do stupid shit with, and just hang around as friends.
CLUBS:
A lot of people would say “join a club” or whatever but truth is I have. I have joined the ski racing team even though I snowboard but I can’t say I’m boys with any of the people in it. I party with them occasionally just because they throw ski parties but they have been getting less and less fun because less people keep going, essentially I just pregame a party alone and go and talk to everyone everyone, party, dance. Then go back to my dorm plastered and wake up and just chill. I tried out the uni quidditch club mainly because I was just curious on how a fictional sport is a real sport and let me tell you it’s a wild sport. Some people make fun of it but shit’s wild imagine rugby dodge ball (full contact btw). But the people there I didn’t really click with so I stopped showing. It’s too late to rush any fraternities because that period passed and it’s pretty well into our semester now so summer break is in about a month. On other clubs I joined the spike ball club but haven’t made it out to any practices and I can’t just suddenly start going because well spike ball works in teams of 2 one random person showing up without a partner is a tough dynamic to fit in because everyone already has there teams so it doesn’t do much and I don’t have a person to go with to be my teammate. (Let me make it clear again reaching out and meeting people isn’t the tough thing in this scenario I am super sociable but just can’t walk into a 2v2 team dynamic with just one person, it wouldn’t really work). I would love to join the ultimate frisbee club but then again I don’t know anyone in it and am not in the club technically so I plan to look around see if I can join and meet some people (that’s not so much a 2v2 team sport but point is it’s a team and halfway through the semester and I wanna join so it’s a little odd but I’m sure if I reach out to someone I can get a spot so that’s one thing I want to try)
GIRL(recent found her group herself):
I am really close to this one girl we have been hanging for a while both want a relationship and decided we will start like i guess officially dating soon. Things are going well I’m really close to her I crash at her place often she crashes here. I’d have to say she is the closest person to me currently and that is what makes me concerned. I am not reliant on anybody I can be happy alone, I’ve been working on myself recently but seeing everyone have friends I can only desire to have some close relationships. She is the only one I have as like a close person who I talk to on a daily basis but I’d love to have a friend group as well and not only her it would definitely make me feel more complete. Everyone seems to be in groups already and halfway through the spring semester isn’t really a point to join in on groups/clubs so I don’t really know where to start. Everybody is at this certain point in the Greek life process where they are getting initiated and finding their own groups that they can stay strong in well forever. So I have been extremely lonely recently and regretful for not taking the step in Greek life (I missed the signup deadline) so I couldn’t quite go through the process. I plan to rush a frat next semester but that is in a while and I am looking to you guys for some insight or personal opinions on what you would do in my scenario or recommendations so thank you if anyone responds I will be active on this account trying to respond and give my insight on what you say.
NOTE(above)\^: I am adding this to the end because I just thought of it writing the other two notes and well she herself has just joined a sorority and now has that group that of course I can’t join but can get really close to them of course but i’m also not really looking to join if I could because I am a male and they are a sorority so she found her Gals I am looking for my Boys.
NOTE (general poss response to my scenario): I just thought of this while writing the tldr. I thought people might say to talk to people in class I have talked to basically everyone who might have been a possible fit for me and have strong bonds and have many “friends” (as mentioned previously friendly and strong but not quite friends because I don’t talk to them outside of class/hang out with them). but these “friends” have all and I mean all started to find there own groups and fraternities/sororities so they are in that phase where they are finding their groups of friends (What I am looking for) themselves, they are just further in the process then me. I feel like they can’t really welcome me into these groups because they are meeting them themselves. (a lot of them are female too and well sororities aren’t really… well allowed males)
TLDR: I am mid my second semester of college and I focused too much on gaining short term relationships and reaching out to everyone around me being super friendly that in the end I didn’t make any lasting relationships besides recently one girl who actually just joined a sorority and don’t know where to start now that everyone seems established and the opportunity to join clubs/greek life has passed.