Can’t keep penis hard without physical stimulation. Why?

Hi reddit, I’m looking for some help.

I have a problem with maintaining my erection during masturbation and sex. For example I can go from rock solid to soft in 20 seconds if I am not physically stimulating my penis and this can happen when I stop masturbating (even with porn still playing) or when there’s no direct physical stimulation during sex (like when I go down on my gf). Changing positions is also difficult and we have to do it fast or else I am not hard enough to put it back in.

If I maintain physical stimulation (PIV sex or constant hand job from gf for example) I can keep my erection rock solid until I cum. No problem.

I get semi-hard just thinking about my gf when I’m in a good mood, and it can take up to a minute of touching to get me going. The moment the touching stops, or I go down on her for example, my penis goes soft and it becomes more difficult to get it hard again. So it makes sexy time feel like a sprint because I can’t take my time and tease her. But once it’s up, I have no problem maintaining it as long as my penis is physically stimulated.

Does anyone have this issue or any tips/advices on how to make my erection stay rock solid for more than a 10secs without any stimulation? The problem is that I don’t know what is going on.

About me

* Rarely drink
* Nonsmoker, no drugs
* No known health issues, some times of high anxiety from school but not in the bedroom
* Lift weights 2x a week and hard cardio 1x a week.
* No self esteem issues in the bed, comfortable with my body
* Vegetarian, on the skinny side but still have some muscle
* Drink about 1L water a day
* Masturbate right now average 1x / day, with porn (just M and F PIV normal, no hardcore or anything). Stopped last November for a month but didn’t see benefit. Only restarted because I got new gf and wanted to keep system ‘active’.
* I do get random boners (which last for a minute, sometimes abit more) maybe once a month
* I do get morning woods every other day, they usually last up to 30 secs after me waking up and realizing that I’m rock solid.
* I’m average in size, have phimosis and can’t retract foreskin when hard. No problem when soft.

I’ve been to psychologist who thought it was because I was focusing too much on having a hard erection which was making me anxious. I don’t think that is my issue as I am not anxious in the bedroom unless it’s my first time with someone. Plus I’m not anxious when I masturbate but the problem still happens.

The phimosis is annoying because it can get painful but using lube has always solved this issue. I think it could be porn and over stimulation issue but when I tried to reduce it last time, it killed my sex drive altogether and I didn’t feel horny. Want to cut back on porn but not if I don’t feel horny at all. I have been to general doctor about it and haven’t found him helpful. Don’t think urologist is helpful since I don’t think this is a physical issue. Any advice on how I can help myself?

**tl;dr. I can not keep my erection hard when my penis is not physically stimulated. 10 seconds for it go to soft. Don’t think it’s physical. Need some help/advice on how to overcome this and who I can see to help me solve it.**