Well, during the pandemic i (19 male) met a guy (21 male), we had a deep relationship. We even dated but it didn’t last really long, after sometime we started to talk again and tried dating one more time, he used to ignore me sometimes, avoided conversations that, although were complicated, would’ve solven some of our relationship problems.
This year, I’ve broken up with him and he taked a little to long to realize the trouble that he made and apologize. Troubles like not being as considerate as he should, leave me trying to talk with him to solve our problems for quite sometime om ele pra nos resolvermos and so on. Basically, he used to try so little in our relationship that, sometimes, I wondered if he really wanted that, and if it was real. All that plus the fact that we live a little away (he lives in a neighbor city).
Months after we broken up, i met another guy (19 male), he tries more and don’t make me question our relation. Things appeared to move on and i even started to like him. The problem is that he recently told me he didn’t want to date, just hook up, it hurted a little cause i really liked him, well, obviously i respected that, even though i wanted something serious. As he just wants to hook up i want to keep with him until i find someone. Ok, maybe it isn’t the coolest thing but as he doesn’t want commitment there is no problem, right?
So, yesterday my ex (the one from the first and second paragraph) finally came to apologize, i don’t believe a lot in him, but one thing that i noticed is that, this time, he listened to me. He stayed there, assumed the mistake, said he was sorry and didn’t try to justify anything. Honestly, he doesn’t look like the guy that i dumped months ago, i just don’t believe he changed too much, but that proofs he changed, at least a little. Oh, and he also asked if we could try again.
Part of me wants to believe in him cause i still hope we’ll still end up together. I’m still hurt, my friends would hate the idea of me going back to him but would support if that made me happy. I can also stay with the other guy, he offers more safety then my ex has ever done and tries to see me way more. The only problem is that he doesn’t give me the future that I want.
(Obs: i don’t like the idea of ending up alone, i could, but it just not my favorite option).
Tl;Dr – should I get together with my ex again and risk go wrong another time even if i know it will last longer or stay with my actual in something that’s more simple and not much dramatic that my friends will like more even if it isn’t what i want?
2 comments
You’ve already given him two tries. I don’t have much faith in his supposed change so if you do go for it (because it is ultimately your choice), do it with a grain of salt.
You’re flattering your choices, and creating a false dichotomy here. You don’t have to choose between someone interested in a relationship, but emotionally unavailable, someone emotionally available, but disinterested in a relationship, or being alone.
You can also choose to date other people, that give you what you want and need from a relationship. Neither of these guys seem to fit the bill.