This is the situation. My best friend(F) and I(F) have been friends for over nine years. I am an undergrad and working part-time while she is out of school and working full-time. A lot of things have happened with her parents(mother’s death, infidelity and and her almost being forced into a marriage) that has made her unable to live at home.
A couple of days ago I got a worrying phone call about a heated arguement between her and her dad before she went missing. I called/texted her several times before she answered.
I could tell she was not in her right mind and after keeping her on the phone until I was with her, I spent the night with her.
After getting it all of her chest, we were sitting there beside one another and she mentioned the idea of wanting to live with me after I was done in school in a year or so. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to make her worried again so I just agreed, but somehow managed to mention that she should get a single apartment in the meantime instead of waiting this out another year.
While I would love to live with her, I know I am not able to live with other people as I talk to myself excessively(verbal processor or because of my adhd) and it has annoyed people in the past which is why I live by myself on campus. I know how to keep the shared places neat, but my room is often a mess. I can’t risk losing her or not being friends with her because I end up ititating her with the talking. What do I even say?
2 comments
Not gonna lie this is tough. I had a friend that assumed he would just move in with me when I got a place. They don’t realize the financial and emotional toll living alone takes. It sounds like she would just move in and take advantage of you because she’s looking for a safe space.
This is a tough one. I love positive confrontation. There is a lot here that we don’t know. I think the best thing to do is to talk with your friend about what is bothering you. It’s best to have this out in the open. Otherwise, you will stall and she will make assumptions as to why you’re not moving in and that could be a lot worse.