I cut him off, he sent me a picture

TL;DR: I derive some benefit from my current “relationship”, but not much. While he is very romantic, I am mulling whether to cut this CAD for good.

===

I am 23, he is 33. We dated regularly a few years ago…that was before I found out about his insane ex-girlfriend and her hysterical jealousy.

He didn’t even tell me about this.

Since the time we went out together, I have borne the brunt of this woman’s hostility.

It wasn’t even a serious relationship, but I have had to deactivate my social media at times because she and her friends follow me to my accounts and make nasty remarks.

I can’t just leave social media entirely as I have a small fashion business making art deco accessories and furniture, and actually need social media to research, network, and earn a living. Right now I am supplementing my income living off my IRA and working in a card store.

We dated again a couple of weeks ago. We are compatible and have a great time but he earns far more than I do, and I struggle to put my career back after a serious illness.

He keeps saying he wants to spend more time with me when he finishes his MBA. Because of COVID, it seems it is taking forever to finish his MBA and move on to the next phase of his life.

While I like him, this proposition has become a drain on me.

Because I still struggle with my health and finances, I have decided to withdraw from social life – including dating- and focus on recovery and improving my fashion skills.

I just don’t have the energy for girlfriending right now – it is too much maintenance dating a “Mr. Big”. We go to nice restaurants, concerts…a lot of time he pays only half of anything, and it’s expensive. When we went to a concert a few months ago (2 nights), I paid for train tickets, a hotel and groceries to fill the kitchenette with food. I made dinner and breakfast. He paid for one dinner – the night we went to the show.

Not to mention the day after the concert, I wanted to window shop and do photography for one of my blogs, while he wanted to grab lunch and hang out at a museum next to the train station.

We get to the museum and I was exhausted from the walking and trying to find a locker to hold our bags while we loitered in the city.

That was it. I totally blew up at him. I really let him have it, including telling him that it’s not my job to handle his psychological jealous ex. It’s not my job to be arm candy and be his trophy girlfriend, especially when he is so unsupported- fiscally and emotionally.

So, I finally told him to give me a break, and went so far as to cut the phone and internet for THREE ENTIRE DAYS. It was just me and a pile of books and working on my pieces.

I get up in the middle of the night to sketch this idea I have, and there is this message from him via Facebook – this picture of Tramp from Disney with his “Lady”, eating spaghetti. “This is me and you.”

I feel manipulated. My life is far from the romantic picture. I don’t even have the energy to look like “Lady” anymore – I still get sick and cut my hair and wear yoga pants half the time to make it easier to care for myself.

We had some good times together and sure I might enjoy his company once in a while, but his lifestyle is a FANTASY, frankly.

I feel like drawing all over the “Lady” side of the photo telling him what my reality really is.

I don’t feel like a “Lady” with him, I feel like a dirty mutt. The picture is just an illustration of what he wants, versus what I want, which is to WORK.

I guess I don’t cut him completely because finding someone new is such a pain in the ass, and at least he isn’t turned off by my illness.

Dumping him means being alone again and that would be no good mentally or physically but frankly the exploitation makes me downright angry, and I waste even more time in therapy, which includes writing this letter.