My exgirlfriend (27F) told me were on a pause

My ex and I had been seeing each other for about a month or so till finally making it official. We talked all day every day, she would randomly call me just to say she missed me or would invite me to random breakfast or lunch dates, she planned all these dates with me and got really excited about me calling me perfect and telling me how her biggest secret was she was scared of doing the wrong thing to lose me. I reassured her she should never feel that way and everything would be okay. The appreciated the reassurance I gave her. After a month of dating I asked her to make it official and she was thrilled, however a week into the relationship she told me she needed space as one of her friends made a comment and it threw her off. The next weekend we talked and made things better however after that we hardly saw one another.

We went from talking daily to hardly talking at all. She recently was divorced and her divorce just became official, she has a you child who they share 50/50 custody with. Her job had become much more demanding as of late and she recently purchased a new home. I understood everything, gave her space and reminded her I was there for anything she needed. She was extremely thankful.

Finally one night I was working on her birthday gift, I spoke with an old friend and told them all about her and explained I found her on the Bumble app. He said he’d give it a try and about an hour later she sent me screenshots of her profile still up and showing the location had been changing. When we first started dating I deleted my profile and the app and she told me she deleted just the app, however from what my friend showed me, her location was updating that night and her profile was still there which it shouldn’t have been as bumbles website states profile no longer active after 30 days are no longer visible on the platform.

I called her up to question it, asking if she was still using the app and if she was cheating on me, she told me no and said she deleted the app from her phone but she wasn’t using it and she wanted to know what she could do to help me not feel that way. She offered to delete the profile and everything but I didn’t know how to feel as I had been cheated on so much. I really cared for her and I didn’t really grasp what was going on at the time. She texted me a few hours later letting me know she didn’t appreciate the conversation, telling me it made her uncomfortable that my friends were spying on her and she didn’t want to be with someone who has to ask where she is.

I called her shortly after trying to understand if she was breaking up with me, I broke down immediately and ask why it was okay for her to ask me all the time where I was and what I was up to and the one time I ask her she uses it to break up with me. She took fault for everything saying she’s just not ready for a relationship and she has alot on her plate and she needs to get her shit together before she’s ready for anything. She reassured me there was nobody else and said she hoped when she is ready that I’ll still be around and be available.

The next day I screwed up, I went to her friends moms house (where I knew she was last living in) to drop off the birthday gift I gave her, but her friends mom told me she moved out and into her new home. I went there to drop it off and talk to her, she told me how her friends were talking about me in there iphone chat group and she just smiled, hugged me, kissed me and told me she was overwhelmed with everything. She told me to put the birthday stuff away and that we would celebrate her birthday last month before her trip to mexico with her friends. She said we were on a “pause” and that she still wanted to spend time with me, told me to text her when I wanted to and told me to go home and relax and we would talk about everything later. That she needed to get her shit together and she just has alot going on right now.

A few weeks went by without ever hearing from her. On the week before her trip to mexico I messaged her asking how she was but never heard back from her. Two days went by and I messaged again asking her if we would still be celebrating her birthday but again I never heard back. Last week was her birthday, I messaged her that night wishing her a happy birthday and hoping her trip was going well. Again, I never heard from her.

I’ve never been on a “pause” with someone but after her telling me she still wanted to spend time with me and talk to me, she hasn’t responded to anything. I know my messages are going through because on my phone it’s saying “delivered” but I don’t know what to think or do anymore. It’s been over a month since I last heard from her and she promised me she still wanted to be with me but she just has alot on her plate right now but she told me she still wanted to be with me. My friends have told me it’s difficult to asses, They told me they hope she meant what she said but I need to start doing things for me and not her and that I need to take care of myself. Has anyone ever been through this and knows what to think or do? I need some guidance here, please.