Disagreements with my SO’s family and I. How do I know if I’m better off living alone or if I should just suck it up?

Hi gang, I (24F) currently live with my SO (34M) and his family in their home. It’s been one year. I used to live alone. I love them. They are wonderful people, but as time passes, I feel extremely stressed more and more frequently, and at rising levels that I never experienced when I lived alone. I have found that I’m just downright depressive. Things that I’m passionate about that made me happy just don’t do it for me anymore. I feel like an empty robot just going through the motions to make sure everyone is satisfied. Everyone else senses it as well. At first I tried to shrug things off and figured that I just needed time to adapt, but now that I’m settled in and things just aren’t getting better, I’m starting question things. I really want to do my best for them and didn’t imagine quitting on them at the first obstacles. I also piss them off, albeit inadvertently, with little actions or disagreements (how the dishes are supposed to be organized, I accidentally left something on the table instead of picking it up, breaking a glass, didn’t sweep a specific corner in a room, one hair in the shower, etc. His mom is a neat freak is very organized and particular in how she wants things) These little things often build up and then someone explodes a month later. Then things calm down, only for the cycle to start again. I fully understand, their house, their rules. It is my job to respect the living space and it’s occupants, but so many accidental things slip through the cracks. There’s also things I can’t understand that I find ridiculous. For example she’ll say no dogs in the house because it needs to stay clean. Her dog and the cat are always going between inside and outside but my dogs (two medium sized border collies) are not allowed in or quickly shooed out. When it’s nice out they should be outside because the weather is great. When it’s bad out they need to be outside otherwise they’ll dirty the house. Again, their house, their rules. I keep my mouth shut. At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful brat, honestly, this is one of many examples that I find stupid and just downright unfair.

Even if something was done by accident and not on purpose I still feel the resentment. I feel more like a liability than an asset. Plus there’s the obvious being able to cook and eat what I want, when I want. Doing the dishes tomorrow morning if I’m feeling tired. Snuggling with my dogs on the bed when the day is done. Need I say more? I could go on and on. Don’t get me wrong, there are positives of being with them, but I feel like I could pull the same benefits just seeing them from time to time instead of having to pay the heftier price of all the inconveniences that come with living together for those exact same benefits. They also enjoy inviting people over frequently, nearly every weekend. I participate out of politeness and do my best but it’s just so draining, and I end up frowning without even noticing (as SO and his family have told me). There’s many positives. No rent, land to grow what we want, fresh air, no city people problems, etc. But when I look back, I would much rather pay a monthly rent if it means peace and my sanity. I realize more and more that the freedom to do what you want, when you want, and how you want it has no price.

It’s hard because we feel for each other. My SO tries to reassure me and that we’ll find a solution. I appreciate the initiative, but I think everyone unconsciously knows that there’s a lot of uncompromising incompatibilities from both sides.

I don’t want to make it seem like it’s all bad. It’s not, otherwise I would have left a long time ago. I’m unsure if this is a “suck it up buttercup” and the grass is greener scenario, or if I should outright move out. Thanks all!

TLDR: I live with my SO and his family in their home. We love each other but we see things differently and it creates a lot of friction to the point of making me and everyone else depressive. Despite my best efforts it’s not getting better, so I’m questioning move out.

Edit: To clarify, it is a family/ generational farm and he is next in line to take over, which is why all of us live together. Both of us work here.