My partner and I have had a rocky relationship for quite a while that we’ve always tried to fix, but struggled without really ever giving it a go. We always manage to bicker and have stupid fights and it doesn’t help they we both have stressful jobs. The first few years were great, but like all relationships, the initial novelty wears off and it becomes a challenge to keep things working perfectly.
I’m not really looking for advice of how to salvage the relationship, because I think it’s out of my control and done at this point. I’ve asked if we could give it a real go where we put it in actual effort, but she thinks it’s futile at this point. She’s probably right.
The issue I’m facing is I’m worried about how ill make it through this.
We recently bought a house and moved into a new idyllic area where we don’t know anyone. The mortgage is mine and due to the current economic climate, I’m set to lose out on a significant amount of money if I was to sell, some of which I borrowed.
So for my partner, its fine. She has the freedom to move wherever she wants and start a new life for herself.
I am stuck here with no friends or family and the memories of a failed home which now feels tainted. With Xmas on the horizon, I really worried about how my mental health will suffer.
Yesterday I had what I presume to be my first panic attack. I started looking at old photos of ourselves and the good memories hit home and I burst into tears. I think for the first time the reality really sank in, and then I began to become breathless and had a panic attack which felt absolutely awful.
I think im struggling more with this right now because my partner doesn’t seem to be as bothered about the split as I am. I’ve always been a bit overly sensitive with some things, but she laughs when I point out how sad it is and says it will all be fine.
I have never been the best boyfriend. But I’m not a bad guy at all and feel I’m being made to feel like one. I have provided as best as I could and asked for little in return.
I have a mum and animals and therefore I have to be around for them. But I wish I could just push a button and not exist anymore.
If I didn’t have a house or animals I would just travel and work abroad. But that’s off the table.
Has anyone dealt with a situation like this? What did you do? I’m feeling pretty alone and lost at the moment.
2 comments
Why don’t you just rent out the house?
What do you like to do? Gaming? Hiking? Biking? Whatever it is, find it, go all out in it for a while. Facebook reddit really any social media you can find groups of people that enjoy the stuff you do, my town for example has a reddit and the town is maybe 50k people. Theres people there constantly posting about whats going on this weekend or board night at local cafe on x date. Sports fan? Go out to a bar or to a game, interact with your teams fan, no one cares who you are as long as youre wearing team colors youre going to be welcomed. Not very social like me, then pick up cooking. Very easy way to keep your mind busy for a couple of hours and then you get to enjoy what you made. Hell get good enough and when you start dating again, you can easily impress. All of this assuming you stay in your house in current town, it might be worth losing out on some money to better your mental health and be back closer to friends family etc.