I know this is a very vague question, but I am a 24-year-old guy that has almost zero sexual experience. The time has come where I just really want to try some things that I have been missing out on. I am a straight male (I think), but I haven’t had a GF since high school and even then, we just made out and did some hand stuff.
I made a request on here on the sub for my city’s personal connection type thing. I am hoping to receive oral sex for the first time. I am just really curious to try it and I honestly don’t know of a better and easier way to make it happen. I got many replies, but I have been talking with one person that replied. It is a guy, and I am thinking that I should open my mind a little and take him up on it. No females replied sadly, but not surprisingly. He has told me that this is his first time trying to give oral sex to a guy, and that he was tested last year and has only been with his GF since (she is aware this is happening, I asked). He tells me that he is clean, and I know that I am.
I am both very excited and very nervous. He and I have had many good chats and we have set boundaries and we are respectful of each other from what I can tell, but my fear is meeting up with essentially a complete stranger aside from messages on here. Not that I am physically in danger, but I just don’t want to catch an STI. He made it clear that he doesn’t want to catch anything either, but I mean is this a natural risk that you take when having sex sometimes? I mean how much faith can you put in a person? I have read up on oral and STIs a lot over this past week. I know that the risk is lower, but there is still a chance, and I just don’t know.
What do you all think? I really don’t want to wear a condom, but maybe for the peace of mind it is worth it? I just don’t think that is his wish either and then I am back to square one.
Very torn and confused what to do right now.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
EDIT: I think it’s also important to remind myself that people aren’t inherently out there trying to spread STIs. Most sane people try and take care of themselves when something is wrong with their body. And genuinely, this person hasn’t given me a single reason not to trust them.
1 comment
“Is this a natural risk you take when having sex sometimes?”
Yes. Every time really. It comes with the territory and you have to determine what risks you are willing to take. Condom or not you can catch something- the good news is anything you’d catch from a blow job will either be easily treatable/curable or not life threatening. That doesnt mean you shouldnt ask about or require testing for yourself and partners but it means you can probably proceed here with out much worry….about STIs.
I know you’re a dude and its less likely you’ll meet with any harm (lucky you) – but I would still suggest meeting this person in a public place for a coffee or cocktail first to do a vibe check and make sure he is who he presented himself as and that he doesn’t at least seem like he’s going to steal your wallet…or your kidneys. And let someone know you’re doing it and share his info and do a touch base when you’re alone and safe again (aka what most every woman does before she goes on any date with a new person from an app).