She gets really wet but tells me to stop after a while when fingering her – needs tips?

27 comments

1. clip your finger nails bruv

2. There are girls who just can’t cum. I’m one of those girls. My partner was depressed because I couldn’t finish by him. I can’t finish if he fingers me. I only can when he plays with my clit. Try with that, or if doesn’t help then try fingering her while you play with her clit.

3. Majority of women don’t orgasm from penetration alone*, of any kind, the answer to your problems is the clit. If your hands don’t work you may need a toy, no shame in that

4. >Yet still I can never get her to orgasm (she says she’s never orgasmed before even by herself). Really not sure what I’m doing wrong now and she can’t tell me either because she’s never got herself there anyway.

   Real talk: she has to do some of this exploration by herself, probably with toys and porn/erotica. If she doesn’t know how to get herself there, you’re most likely not going to know either, and that’s not your fault. It sucks, but having an orgasm, for a lot of women, is not all that easy. Also – she should get the book *Come As You Are* by Emily Nagoski.

   **edit:** oh yeah and everyone is right, penetration is not really that important for a lot of women when it comes to having an orgasm, the clit is where it’s at.

5. Women often don’t orgasm from fingering/regular sex. You almost always have to get some action going on the bean.

   I mean, start slow at first, because some girls can be pretty sensitive, and might make a sound like you’re killing them if you go too hard on it without warning. But, some prefer you to basically destroy the damn thing.

   Ask her about it/try to stimulate it very gently during fingering/sex to see how she responds.

6. So, I’m going to tell you a tip that had worked wonders for me in my relationship, communication. Flat out ask what you can do better to please her in that way. If you’re concentrating on being inside her that’s probably where you need to switch it up and go for the clit instead. My partner achieve her first orgasm internally and a clitoral orgasm is the only way she achieves her orgasm. Talk to her, learn her body and what she likes and it will happen.

7. Oral

8. Use your tongue instead

9. Theres a thing called orgasm anxiety. Basically, people cannot cum because it makes them anxious or they actually fear having one. It can be totally internalized and some people are okay with it. It’s a mental hard block.

   I have this. I’m not sure what causes it, but my body won’t let me. I will hard stop just at the edge on any stimuli, by myself or with a partner it doesn’t matter. Not really sure how to describe it, but its not shame for me.

   Talking about it, seeing a sex therapist, and self reflection are all recommended ways to overcome it. I have done it once, in a super safe environment with a trusted partner that knew about it. It took an hour of our time and a ton of effort and a safe-word.

10. Have you asked her why she wants you to stop? Some women find having a finger inside as painful. The other thing is her g-spot could be too sensitive. However, there is another possibility that could explain it. Since she’s never had an orgasm, maybe the feeling of one starting to build is freaking her out. Ask her if she can explain why she stops your fingering of her. If she can’t really explain it, it may well be the last thing.

    Try oral sex and see if she gets to that same point and asks you to stop. If that’s the case, then you can be reasonably certain what the problem is. Then sit down and tell her what you think is going on and ask her to trust you and when she starts getting those feelings to relax and go with it. Then try again. Take your time, build up slowly, love her entire body, not just her genitalia. Hope this helps you.

11. Try stimulating the clit and foreplay before. Most women do not cum on fingerings alone.

12. 99% chance she feels like she’s going to pee her pants so she makes you stop. Sounds like you’ve got an embarrassed squirter on your hands.

13. Most women say they need to come hither motion and it’s easy to find that motion but holding it for long enough to get her off before your hand cramps is the trick LOL

14. The best tip I have for you is to ask her. Ask her what she likes. Ask her during the act. “Is this ok? Do you want me to do anything else?”

    Also, are your hands rough? Or soft? Fingernails clean and trimmed? Make sure they are.

    But ask her what she likes. And if she doesn’t know, work together to try new things.

    Don’t be afraid to ask. There are plenty of guys out there who think they’re great at sex, but who’s wives and girlfriends would disagree.

15. Clit stimulation is important but how you do it is important too… it’s not a button that if you press harder it will make us cum faster..it just plain hurts.. also, do you have hang nails? Or like, you chew your nails? Do you go and get your nails cleaned and cut so that doesn’t happen? No bigger turn off than a hangnail scraping my soft intimate area… also, it could be since she has never climaxed before when she gets close and it feels too intense she gets worried or scared and wants to stop. Maybe she is afraid something will happen like she will pee the bed or defecate? Just take it slow, get some lube, maybe a glass or two of wine and no shame in a vibrator. But again, take it slow and make sure you aren’t hurting her. Good luck my dude

16. This happened to me years ago with a girl I was dating. What it turned out to be was she wouldn’t allow me to keep going no matter how much she liked it because she wouldn’t allow herself to keep going no matter how much she liked it when she was alone. The feeling would get so intense that she’d sort of scare herself into stopping before she orgasmed. It took me telling her to relax and trust me that everything would be OK and that it was a good thing. She eventually did and turns out she was an insane squirter. From that point on, the word ” stop” was no longer in her sexual vocabulary.

17. Most women don’t like being fingered per se. Learn how to touch a woman’s Clit. Tell her to show you what she likes watch how she does it.. encourage her to do it while you are fucking her they are like snowflakes you just have to learn What She Likes, they’re all different.. you probably jerk yourself off a lot better too. It’s no different for her.. tell her to teach you..take your time, soft and sensual, you don’t just go fingering a girl and think that you’re going to be any different than any other swinging dicks she ever fucked

18. If she’s never had an orgasm, she probably thinks she’s going to pee. Tell her to let it rip

19. My bestie gets over sensitised when reaching orgasm and can reach it solo but not with a partner. This is due to trust and slow building. She has seen a psych and gynie about it.

    It could be a potential, but it could also be that she doesn’t know what she finds pleasurable yet!

    Encourage her to explore and encourage her to provide feedback. Chocolate sauce, honey, blindfolds and an afternoon exploring without Big O destination can help alot with that.

    Also a little clit stimulation vibe toy could help too!

20. Try to stay at an even pace, not to fast, not to slow. We can’t get there is you are changing it up every 30 secs. Use your 2 middle finger with your palm facing upwards. It’s a marathon not a sprint. If she gets dry add lube.

21. So what I can say about this, for internal o, is let’s say you are facing her between her legs place your two fingers palm up inside her curled like a parentheses. It’s not so much an ‘in and out’ motion but an ‘up and down’ motion with the tips of those fingers that you have inserted inside her. That’s the. G spot. Keep repeating that up and down fingering motion.
    Your welcome. 😊

22. Getting fingered hurts after a while

23. Finger tips?

24. G spot orgasms start off feeling like you’re gonna pee, if that’s her reasoning and she thinks she’s gonna pee, just keep going, it’ll be so worth it. G spot orgasms are way more intense than a clit orgasm.

25. Alright so ermrmm idk how old you guys are but I can give two recommendations- one less stabby stabby (I don’t really like just having a finger shoved up me either) and more flat fingers (two) in a firm circular motion on the clit… (I’m gonna edit this- maybe it’s a personal preference but like don’t get right in there too much direct contact on the clit hurts so just stay on top of the outer lips with a your two fingers) or skip the fingering and go straight to oral- okay peace

26. Have you asked her why?

27. Is there a chance she’s had a religious background? I’ve struggled from guilt from this, I feel like I have to stop after a Short awhile from guilt.