21M here, recently met this great girl 23F on tinder. She’s really funny, interesting and pretty. We have a lot of things in common and our sense of humour just clicked.
We went on a date this weekend and it was great. We had a fun time and have a second date planned. I’m really looking forward to it.
Now, I won’t lie like most guys sex is something I think of but it’s not something that’s been important to me and even though my ex and I got pretty close to sleeping together I am still a virgin.
I didn’t expect the topic of sex to come up until the 3rd or 4th date but last night over text she admitted she was a virgin and was wondering if I’d take her virginity. I admitted that I myself was still a virgin but would be up for it if that’s what she wanted.
We spoke about it more today, she expressed this was something she wanted and we started talking about when we’d do it. We agreed to go on a few more dates and if we are both free do it at the end of this month.
We’ve agreed to book a hotel since she has a roommate and I still live at home and we don’t want to be interrupted.
I think regardless it will be great but want to make it a memorable experience for her since some of my female friends have spoke about how they regret their first times with how much the guy didn’t care and seemed more focused on themselves than their feelings and how they felt.
I don’t want this to be something she regrets so any advice on how to make it good for her would be great!
8 comments
You’ve got the right mindset already. A few things to keep in mind:
Keep checking in with her. Questions like “do you like this” or “does this feel good” etc will go a long way to making sure that she enjoys it and making sure that she feels prioritized.
Make it clear to her that she can stop everything at any time without even giving a reason. I doubt she will exercise that right but it will help her feel more comfortable.
Don’t be afraid to be goofy or dorky or whatever. The whole male sex god trope isn’t real. Real people aren’t like that. Don’t act like you are an expert. Just be yourself, have fun and enjoy each other.
Don’t overthink it. The sexiest thing is bringing a lot of sexual energy. Be enthusiastic and excited, and she’ll build off of that. Look for signals of how she’s doing, but don’t go overboard asking her how she feels and if everything is alright. I would nonchalantly tell her upfront to let you know what feels good and what she’d like you to do differently.
Oh, and remember that she’s a person. Hold her close and show her tenderness and love.
Lol Its both of your first time. You both barely know each other.
It’ll be fun But wont be the greatest sex session either
Make it romantic Wine and dine her
Lots of foreplay Light some candles
Have fun
At the point of penetration shout “Cowabunga” at the top of your voice. I guarantee it will be an unforgettable experience for her…
Buy some fancy dinner, light a couple of candles, play a mariachi playlist in your laptop for ambience and by desserts enter goblin mode.
From reading your post you already seem to be a good way there, just caring about it being nice for her, and seeing here as a person, being kind goes a really really long way. That’s really the most important.
For other stuff, check in with her a lot, if it’s good, does it hurt, is it okay if I do this etc.
Also communication is key, likely with both of you being virgins, things might not look like you expect, they might not be exactly where you expect, make the sound you expect etc (this still happens to me, since everybody is different).
Sometimes it can be hard finding a position that works. There are lots of variables, that still exist when two experienced people have sex for the first time. Since everyone’s different. Just talk to each other about everything, it’s okay to be goofy, to laugh to making jokes etc. It just makes the whole experience much more comfortable, than to pretend and feel you need to do everything “right” be sexy in a certain way.
Make sure to give her compliments, a lot of women can be pretty insecure about their bodies, and she’ll most likely get more turned on by knowing you’re turned on by her. It’ll also make her more comfortable.
Make sure she’s ready before penetration. By that I mean, she needs to be wet. Otherwise it will hurt. Try touching her, and go down on her if you’re comfortable with that. If you make her orgasm before penetration, that’s the absolute best, but it can be hard the first time.
Anyway, I realize this got pretty long, but it hope it helps. This is my perspective on it as a woman at least. Also, I’d like to add, remember it’s your first time too, and sex is supposed to be good for both parties involved. In the same way that she needs to be comfortable and feel respected, you do too. It’s requires effort on both parts. Although it’s the pain aspect is worse for women.
Really hope this goes well for you and that it’ll be a nice experience for you both!
The first time will get you addicted
A little bit of booze will help, but it’s not mandatory.
It’s a good idea to take a shower (and ask her if she’d like too) and be in dim lights, with switch near you (lamp or something)
Foreplay foreplay foreplay.
Complement her time to time.
being nervous is okay, but it may kill the mood for your guy – so don’t be shy and lead her to do something that would turn you on but don’t be too persistent.
Watch some sex-instructers – you don’t need deep understanding or to make her orgasm – you need to know what, where and how makes amateur woman feel good, ESPECIALLY IN FOREPLAY.
Condoms!
After that it’s all about right amount – some like a lot of talk, others like non. Same with touching and foreplay (yes, foreplay even during act)
Condoms are already covered in lube, but brining some (lube) is always good idea. It’s also great to check how wet she is (during foreplay for example) and if she is not too wet or dried up during act (you can ask her if it rubs or hurts), you can apply it on your guy and inside(not too deep) her.
If you suddenly feel like finishing – slow down and focus on foreplay, but it’s okay of didn’t manage, because
It’s all about having a good time.
After that -do anything. Talk, flirt, foreplay – you are allowed to be scared, but don’t be shy.