What is the single oddest thing someone has said to you while at a public urinal?

20 comments

1. Think anything would sound odd and out of place for me like the microsecond I realize they’re opening their mouth my mind is already going bro wtf shut up lol

2. “Can I hold that for you?”

   Granted this was at a gay bar, and I’m fairly sure if I’d said yes it would instantly have progressed to this individual wanting to *be* the urinal.

3. You want to look, don’t you.

4. CEO at my old job. My first week there, pulls up to the urinal next to me (there were only two).

   ‘How are you settling in?’

   I’ll regret the rest of my life not replying

   ‘Well, I’ve got my hands full at the moment.’

5. I pee faster when I put my leg up and a finger in my ass

6. Does this look normal?

7. Wanna trade?

8. I once got hit on a by an older gay man in a urinal at an opera. He told me he could help me with my career. But he didn’t know what my career was.

9. “That reminds me, how’s your mother doing”

10. “I’ll bet you hang to the left. I only say that because mine does and you kind of remind me of me.”

    He was right. I’m leftward hanger.

11. “Stop starrin at it like that!”

12. “Is that a chocolate?”

    Somebody had left a small individually wrapped chocolate on top of the shelf behind the urinals.

13. “Can i hold it?”

14. “Nice cock mate”

15. “Man, I don’t know if I’m getting older or this thing is getting bigger but it’s heavier than it used to be…”

    – From our top salesman to me during my first week at the new job. Worth noting I became his direct report like a month after this.

16. Peanut butter is the answer

17. Stop shitting so loud I’m trynna jerk off

18. I was at a restaurant and a guy went to the urinal next to me, glanced at my penis and said “You might want to go to the doctor to check that”. The doctor said I had an STI I forgot the name of and told me if I came to his office a week later then I would have been in severe pain so he gave me medication and cream to cure it. My wife went to the gynecologist and was told she should wear cotton or no underwear than the cheap polyester material she wore before which explained small rashes under her pubes.

19. Wasn’t really that odd I guess, but a guy let me know how much he appreciated that i washed my hands, and avoided touching the door knob with my bare hands on my way out.

20. Damn dude, you grew that thing yourself?