I had just won a 4 day 3 night vacation all expenses paid, at a farm in a little cottage. The days are Sunday Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. I excitedly went to go tell my boyfriend and he automatically said no. That he can’t go because it’s on a weekday and he can’t take any weekdays off of work. This vacation is in December so he has plenty of time to request it off and he literally just took a day off on Tuesday because it rained, although he did do some work from home for the most part he just stayed home and played video games. I asked him why he can’t take the day off or just two days off instead of the full 4 so he wouldn’t miss too much. he just said that he has to work he can’t take weekdays off so no I find myself wanting to either give the trip away or just go by myself. I guess I’m just feeling pretty hurt that he doesn’t want to go with me. Idk what to do.
9 comments
….he never said he doesn’t want to go. Don’t make it into that. He said he can’t. Not everyone has the ability to take off three days of work one month from now on your timeline.
INFO: ages, genders, relationship length?
>he literally just took a day off on Tuesday because it rained
Is he really not able to take a few days off if he plans it a month ahead of time? Or do you think he just isn’t into it?
You will give yourself a better chance of obtaining his cooperation if you create a bigger list of options. Think of offering like you think of ice cream at the grocery store. If the options are chocolate and vanilla, and you want strawberry welp, you’re not going to buy ice cream because you wanted strawberry. Add options so that he finds the ice cream he wants.
I mean it’s not a terrible idea to just go by yourself, going on solo trips can be really fun and relaxing. You can get time away from people and just be with yourself. So what if he can’t go. So what if he doesn’t want to go… it’s your vacation, you won it so just go and have fun.
Make it a girlfriend’s trip or just go by yourself and relax:) It is healthy to have time apart to unwind every so often.
Do you have any idea how many day of PTO of any that he has? There are a lot of jobs you can’t take that long off unless you have more than three weeks notice. Especially around the holidays.
Maybe it’s a busy time at work? I’d be disappointed too, but if he can’t go/doesn’t want to go, chances are it won’t be a fun trip. Why not bring a friend instead?
So he can’t take the time off work…. Take a friend instead, or go by yourself and enjoy the serenity.
You do realise that some times people can’t just randomly take time off from work. He might not have any paid days owing, or he can’t afford to take unpaid time off, or there could be a leave freeze, or a busy project/period at work. And that’s just work excuses, he might be saving his time off for something else, or he might not want to spend time in a little farm cottage (personally I’d love it, it’s close to what I did for my birthday as I spent it in the bush in a tiny house), or any number of reasons, and none of the ones I mentioned have anything to do with not wanting to spend time with you.
Go with a friend.
Your BF is an AH. To me, it’s a red flag that he doesn’t want to spend time with you on a paid vacation. He takes days off because it rains but not to spend time with his GF? He takes you for granted.