What is your best piece of advice on how to overcome insecurity as a man?

17 comments

1. Remember that we are all human and we are all insecure about stuff. The ones that don’t sound like they are have just worked on it. And if they can work on it, so can you. Some people go on the path to self love by themselves and some require professional help. Figure out which pool you fall in.

2. It’s okay to take it slow, and work bit by bit on the things you have problems with. You don’t have to solve the problem by tomorrow.

   Gradual lifestyle changes can also make a huge difference. Get more sleep, eat healthier, drink more water, exercise more, get plenty of sunlight.

   Start reading or researching these areas where you think you’ve got a problem. If you’re having sexual issues, look them up! Talk to a doctor or go on Reddit. Chances are someone’s had the same problem. If it’s financial, read up on personal finance, investing, etc. Maybe talk to someone you know who’s good with money.

   And instead of focusing on your issues, embrace the positive things about yourself. Maybe you’re a great athlete, or a good musician, maybe people find you a great listener or they think you’re really funny. Work on the things that make you feel insecure but embrace the things that you like about yourself.

   Finally, you’re not alone. There’s not a person on this planet who doesn’t struggle with some kind of insecurity.

3. Exposure therapy, get more of it in your life and slowly expose yourself to it

4. Confidence is not being certain that it’ll work. It’s being ok if it doesn’t.

5. Being insecure can be a good thing, it can be used as a driving force to make improvements. I wouldn’t worry about immutable issues like height, skin tone, physical imperfections, and similar things. Those you’ll have to accept and come to pace with them.

   Being insecure about your body, dating life, sexyal performance, finances, social skills, and style are a good thing. You need to do some self-reflection and make some changes. If you’re not happy with your body, well go fix it. Maybe you’re not making the amount of money you want, well it’s good to feel that type of pressure. Perhaps your dating life is nonexistent….well that’s a good opportunity to fix things.

   I believe that things like insecurity and peer pressure are good things. When you go through harder times and need to push through things. That shows your true character.

6. Don’t try to assume how other people think and judge you, we all have problems and things we are insecure about. Go forth and set the world ablaze!

7. Most times, in most situations, people won’t pay as much attention (if they pay any at all) to you as you think they do, and if anything happens, they’ll forget about it way before you do. In other words, you are not that important to strangers or acquaintances. You are only to your loved ones, and you shouldn’t be insecure around them.

8. Truly mate, you just need to do what makes you happy. If you aren’t satisfied in your current position, you need to find out what makes you tick.

   If you are doing what you want to be doing and are still feeling this way, get into the mindset that you are better off than anyone else around you who is obviously fabricating an image of “living the dream”

   It took me years to take the jump to find my place, you know deep down what it is you want to do.

   Take the leap bro, you’ll land on your feet and be the most confident guy in the room.

9. Took me way too long to realise this one and it’s a rough pill.

   If you feel like you’re somehow always a target in public, you’re likely presenting yourself as such.

10. Do not compare yourself to other people. It will always make you miserable.

11. Step 1) Knowing the difference between actually being irrationally insecure and just knowing that you aren’t actually secure. This includes knowing the motivations others have for labeling you as insecure to manipulate you. Maybe you aren’t the one that needs to adjust. Gaslighting is a thing. People who will abandon or mock you will call your fears insecurity not because they are wrong… But because since the abandonment isn’t a problem for them… They intuitively think that it is insecure for it to be a problem for you. People go through life a lot not placing importance on the feelings of others while holding their own to be sacred.

    Step 2) There was supposed to be a step 2… But I realised that step 1 is all you really need to do. Once you realise what is and is not rational… You should be able to see the difference and adjust your outlook… Or maybe stand up for yourself and have confidence in your perception.

    Optional Step 3) Seek information or therapy if you see your feelings as irrational but can’t seem to internalise that realisation. There are plenty of people who act irrationally… They know it… But they just can’t change their thought processes… This is what help is for.

12. I own every flaw i have (that im aware of) i am unattractive and everything about me is not ok, but hey at the end of the day i am ok, i make jokes about how stupid am i or how unskilled i am and i laugh when people tell me bad things about me that i already know, cause if youre not afraid to hurt yourself (emotionally) nobody can hurt you

    Edit:auto corrects typing on phone

13. Build yourself, go to the gym, get your money up.

14. Stop caring what other people think.

15. Why is this tagged NSFW?

16. Just not give a fuck and love yourself.

17. Stoicism look into it.