I just wanted to talk about the fact that I’m incredibly socially awkward I’ve recently realised it. And I want to know how I can change it. I keep ruminating about everytime I’ve been awkward and it discourages me from seeking out social situations which ofc costs me a lot of life experiences and opportunities. And I just lose more social skills that way instead of learning them. I think I’m beginning to grow fearful of people. And the real world. Its been especially bad since covid. Idk how to change it. Showing up to like college for example, everyday, is such an ordeal bruh. Idk what to do.
There’s no way to get better unless I’m gonna be more social. But at this point I’m pretty terrified of social situations which maybe makes me more awkward and unsuccessful at making normal conversation. I wish I knew how to not be scared. I mean ik I’m not an anomaly and many people struggle w social awkwardness but you can’t talk about it irl bc ppl are so judgemental on the surface. I do have one friend but I’m only comfortable w her because I’ve known her for a long time. Idk how to be around new people. I’ve not managed to make a single friend in class yet even tho I’ve been around these people for two semesters already. I’m that creepy loner kid who avoids everyone and that everyone avoids. I even have “enemies” lol bc my social awkwardness manifests as rudeness very often and idk how to be “adorkable”.
I am a nice person believe me I really try to be. But the social awkwardness ruins everything. I mean, I can’t be everyone’s friend but I even struggle with reinforcing a sense of friendliness with acquaintance tier people. Like eye contact and greeting them instead of pretending like I didn’t see them, chiming in during conversations but not overdoing it when I do talk, asking questions and being attentive without making it a whole ass interview, smiling more and curing the rbf, approaching people and trying to be around them instead of sitting alone in the corner, etc.
How do I get over this?