I’ll keep this short. Due to one or two bad sexual experiences, I find myself getting nervous at the thought of having sex. I have on several occasions now turned down girls solely because I’m afraid of being a dissapointment. I have no issues talking to girls, it’s just when the time comes to get it on I kinda freak out.
Do I need therapy?
8 comments
If you’ve got money to burn, sure, try therapy. Might not do any harm, and might be helpful.
Your age? You’re a male?
This was me exactly like 6 months ago. Therapy would definitely help. Also just practice and having a few not bad experiences was the biggest thing for me
I’m sorry you had some bad experiences.
Therapy can often help us work through issues, regardless of their nature. Sometimes, just having someone to talk things out without judgement makes us feel like a huge weight has been lifted from us. And depending on the nature of these bad experiences, it might be even more helpful.
Beyond that, I would just advise relaxing and taking things as slow and gently as you can. Personally speaking, I’ve never found rushed sex to be enjoyable sex. And hopefully some good experiences will diminish the bad ones in your mind even further. Good luck! 😊
I think the person I had a crush on was experiencing this and it drove me crazy with all the push and pull behaviors that went on with it. But I understood how they were feeling. It’s called performance anxiety and it happens. I wish he was comfortable enough to share with me but I get why it’s hard to talk about. You kinda just have to talk yourself through it, maybe lightheartedly mention things going bad in the past and how now it makes you more cautious. Ask questions too, with friends, or even your partner.
You don’t need therapy for that for it is completely normal y friend.
It’s super normal for sone guys to be completely scared or nervous when it comes to sexual interactions, specially if you’ve never had them before.
I used to feel really nervous to the point of even shivering a little bit at the moment of the act. My advice is to just calm down as much as you can because it is very normal and it will only go away after you start trying and going for it even if you’re shut nervous, tell your partner or whichever girl you’re about to have sex at the moment that you’re new to sex and to help you or have you patience because you’re nervous, communication is Key my guy, even if you’re experience you will always need to communicate and I can’t stress enough how important and life changing it is, you can even tell them that it’s your first time and to be patient with you, take your time talk to your partners and just go for it, eventually that nervousness will go away trust me, it’s like being really scared of doing something and then you just do it and think to yourself “well that wasn’t that bad”
What were the bad experiences about? Worries about penis size, shooting too early, can’t get it up, not knowing what to do, etc? Advice depends on specific details.
Personally, I deal w them by seeing a therapist consistently
Since you’re already breaking things off with women, you could instead try opening up to them about your bad experiences. I don’t mean use them as therapy, but just enough to make you comfortable. I think that’s a good way to overcome your confidence issues.
You’re already dropping women because of anxiety, might as well give this a shot. If they don’t feel comfortable, well, you were probably gonna leave anyway.