I would like to hear your stories out of genuine curiosity as to how often things like these happen and what the common experiences are.

Edit: I want to clarify that I’m asking for personal experiences specifically

30 comments

  3. I don’t think I’ve experienced any legitimate injustice because I am a man. Slight annoyances and the occasional inconvience, but no injustice.

  4. I’ve said this countless of times but being blamed for the actions of what other bad men do and say is really unfair and annoying

    I hate misogynistic men who harm/harass women too. I can’t stand cat callers but getting told us Men are somehow responsible simply because I was born male too is ridiculous and unfair

    I’m responsible for myself…that’s it. Judge men as individuals and for every bad men out there…. there are great good men that do great things. Why bad men get all the attention and are used as a brush to discredit men in general is unfair

    That’s being treated unfairly. I’m not responsible for what the terrible men do.

    Edit: It is a personal experience. The amount of shit I’ve read online making out all men and me are somehow responsible for what bad men do is way too much.

    Even on this subreddit.. how many times do we have to somehow answer for what bad men do.. only for the OP to delete their post when they get called out for being too reactionary and angry. I don’t know why their ex boyfriend cheated on them..so why are there accusing random men on reddit fir being “the same”

    Sometimes I think this subreddit should be VentToMen instead of AskMen

  5. Being a dad and dealing with my now ex, her mother & sister who’ve been stuck in the single mother toxicity mindset.

    And I will argue back against all of these bitches when it come to my kid, now teenager.

  7. I got passed over for a promotion once because the hiring manager said that although I was the candidate with the most points for promotion and otherwise would have the job they really wanted to hire a girl, that kinda sucked.

  8. We’ve got two kids(1yo,4yo), I cook dinner for them, I put them to bed, I get up with them in the night, always have, we formula fed, so she’s always gotten to sleep through the night, plus I work 40-50hrs a week.. Just to turn around and get told by everyone “Make sure you’re helping her out” , “mom’s need breaks” etc etc. very frustrating being a fully hands on dad, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  9. I feel being a young adult male put a target on me once for injustice. When I was 20 I got stopped by the police on my motorcycle and cited for going like 25 miles per hour over the limit which was bullshit. This was like a $250 fine. What happened was: It was after midnight I was driving through this town on the freeway and I was probably doing 5 over. I saw movement in my rear views and made out the image of a car running right up on me without headlights on. It’s a known thing that people will fuck with motorcyclists and I wasn’t sticking around to find out if this was the case. I dropped two gears and accelerated out of there. Next thing I know I see red and blue lights behind me. So I stop. First thing I say to the cop, “Why are you running up on me without headlights on? You can’t run at night without lights just like anyone else.” He was dismissive and said it wasn’t true. Total bullshit. I demanded to see the radar gun and how fast he clocked me. He refused. He said he was pacing me. “Oh, so now you admit you were running without lights on?!?!?” So he gave me a bogus ticket for 25mph over the limit. Yeah, I went before the judge on that one. I didn’t care if I was still ruled against. I was going to have my day in court and confront that officer. So I laid out the entire scenario for the judge. “Was I doing 25 mph over? Maybe…I wasn’t looking down. All I know was, I was trying to get away from a perceived threat…….until he put his lights on and I pulled over and waited for him.” I told the judge to look at my traffic record and even my criminal record – NOTHING. Almost 5 years of being a licensed driver and not even a parking ticket. The judge looked at the officer and said, “This isn’t the first time you’ve been accused of running without headlights on.” The judged ruled in my favor and dismissed it all. I walked passed that cop in the lobby on the way out and he smugly said, “You got lucky.” I said, “And you’re a fucking asshole that peaked in high school with a short man syndrome. What a sad life you live trying to fuck with people who do nothing wrong.” The anger on his face looked like he was about to hit me. I hit him where it hurt, evidently. He turned and walked away. It doesn’t often happen but I got my pound of flesh.

  10. I have had a job where it was mostly female dominated. The bosses were also all Women besides one guy. I have gotten many condescending, sexist or odd comments from the workers and some of the supervisors. That’s the time in my life where I realized female dominated workplaces is just as bad as male dominated workplaces.

  11. Treated like a income by my soon to be ex wife while we was still married.

    Forced away from my child when she told the cops i tried to kill her. If a women is crying cops auto believe it seems.

    Thrown in jail for said lie. Fighting false accustion charges.

    Being robbed of everything i ever owned. Forced out on the street off my property and become homeless for 3 months by court order.

    Destroyed my business and stole everything out of it. On top of weekly post of slander i cant doing anythin about.

    Forced to Fight a corrupt sexist system agianst men/fathers That will tell u, that u will never get ur son.

    Forced to pay extortion/child support so im allowed to see my son for 16hours a month. On top of having the privilege of not going to jail and being able to drive.

    Fraud. Steals my income by pretending to be me on my rental property and cops/DA refuse to enforce the law.

  12. On national women’s day, my (huge) company had a two week long event supporting women at work, having workshops for them, free lunches, a bunch of free services, free happy hour/events, and discussions on women through history who “resisted” a “man’s world” to become successful.

    For national men’s day, were were invited, and heavily encouraged, to attend an hour long session discussing how men can be better people, resist “toxic masculinity,” and better support women both in our professional and private lives.

    This example extends far beyond these two events.

  13. I often get bullied by other men for not being particularly manly, for having same sex-attractions, and for how I enjoy dressing in feminine clothing. It’s complete bullshit because these same men are perfectly okay when a woman does these exact same things as me.

  14. Being told over and over again “you don’t know what a women goes through about x,y,z” all while being told women are stronger and more Independent than men. Like I just want us all to get along and not compartmentalize others thoughts and opinions.

  16. I was living with my parents in my 30’s. The comments I had gotten about it were at times brutal and how you are perceived and evaluated is very different from the women in their 30s that were living with their parents. I knew of 2 women living at home and no stigma, no scorn, only slight concern. Mine was a more stern, sullen approach from ppl.

    Also I was on welfare for a while due to mental health. One of my friends gf’s at the time, only 2 drinks in, said no woman would look at me if I were on welfare. I asked her if she ended up on welfare should friend break up with her and she just got dismissive.

    I dont drive, again, you get heat eventually from lads because I dont drive. I know of women who dont drive and, related to this issue, said they never gets any heat around this.

  17. The worst was a 2 year long custody battle where she did her hardest work to get my daughter taken from me. Defied every court order, made false accusations, kidnapped our daughter, did every trick in the book and then some… and freely admitted in court it was ONLY cuz I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her…

    I missed out on so much with my daughter. Was degraded over n over. Treated like the scum of the earth by her. Funny enough the courts never sided with her but still made me jump through hoops to prove my worth as her dad. If she was a man doin that they never would have even entertained any of her claims, judges all said so. But because she was the mom she had more standing n they dragged their feet on addressin all the illegal shit she did.

    N she never had to pay the price for all the illegal things she admitted to doing.

  18. Dated a woman for 2.5 years. We lived a half mile from one another, and every morning I’d pick up her 12 year old for school, and pick her up after school. I’d take her to my house, have her start homework, and most nights – feed her dinner.

    I did this so her mom would have a little extra time to get ready for work in the A.M. She had MS and that caused her major fatigue. I also worked to prepare her home for the inevitable wheelchair lifestyle, and completely revamped her entire backyard for her. Most of this was on my dime.

    I loaned her money and took them on trips.

    When we broke up, I was going through cancer treatment and the story she started was that I was faking it.

    People bought it. Laughed about the fact that she was able to get so much out of me, while giving so little.

    I’m still the bad guy because I just shrug and say “karma” when people talk about how hard her disease has hit her over the last few years.

  19. This is stupid, kind of, but I was once in an online support group for young widow/ers. Men were definitely in the minority. There were sections for topics, like newly widowed, learning to live with it, back trying to date again, etc. It really helped me and that’s why the issue affected me so much. As I worked through the phases, I found myself back dating again. I would post questions about how to deal with having sex so soon in dating, expectations from the women I was dating, etc. The backlash was like I was out there bragging about how much pussy I was getting. There was nothing in my post with any bragging, but implied in my posts was that I was dating a lot and the women in late-20s/early-30s were quick to jump in the sack and that was quite a change from dating in my early 20s. I would point out how my questions/issues were totally in-line with things the women were posting about so wtf? Didn’t matter, just got called an asshole. Still annoys me 15 years later.

  20. me and my younger brother were friends with this girl back in the day, all in our late teens and unemployed. she was a tomboy but a lot of fun, when she became single, i got with her and we dated for about a week. but she dumped me when i wouldn’t spend all my money on her and she moved onto my brother, who had/has the backbone of a jellyfish and made more money than me, being on disability for mental health. i’ll never forget the smirk on her face when they told the family she was pregnant.

    her mental games got worse, towards the end of the pregnancy they had a big falling out. she paid a few of her ‘orbiters’ to kick the fuck out of my brother in an alley. he had to have reconstructive surgery to rebuild his nose. i got one of them back the following week but never saw the others again. in the hospital we convinced my brother to never go back to her.

    the baby is born and she seems to be playing ball with letting my brother, and us, spend time with the baby. she moves to a different town, we now have about a 15 mile drive to see the kid. she starts squeezing him for as much money as she can, threatening to not let him see the kid. he obliges (not telling us at the time).

    every 6 months or so, she moves to a different town. always further away. distrupting the kids school and social life. this still happens over 10 years later. she now lives over 80 miles away and has changed her name a few times. but never disappeared from us we think she just ups and leaves when the debt collectors come knocking. my brother does anything she asks, because if he doesnt, she will disappear.

    when the kid was 5, out of nowhere she demands an unreasonable amount of money and threatens to tell the police my brother touches the kid. again, he doesnt tell us until a lot later. all the family know is that he spends a lot of money, is now addicted to opiates and is a total shut-in. i lost my shit when i found out what she did. i had to be restrained from walking however many miles to her house and choking the life out of her with my bare hands. i did nothing because my brother talked me around. he wouldnt get to see his kid ever again. over the next year or so, things start to settle down. she got pregnant again (different guy) and this new kid was autistic and puts her through hell, so she had a new man to squeeze, taking the attention off my brother a bit. things got a bit better and have been bareable for the past few years. we get to see the kid (now 11) every weekend pretty consistantly. however if she thinks we’re planning a day-trip or anything nice with him, she will cancel for no reason. sometimes she cancels for no reason, maybe the kid had got into trouble at school. cant go to dads this week. she now has 2 kids, with 2 other dads that divide up her abuse. every friday night there is a small queue of men outside her door to pick up their children.

    things are looking hopeful. the kid is almost at an age where he can choose to live with his dad. and he learned very quickly that his mother is not a nice woman. he has his own mobile phone so the chance of them disappearing and never hearing from the kid again is rather slim, but still possible. i still hope she suffers a very violent and painful death

    my brother is an absolute shell of a man. he’s 32 and has only ever had sex once. and will never go near a woman again. he can barely speak a straight sentence from stuttering, not from intoxication, but from shattered self confidence and trauma. i worry that the moment my nephew becomes independent, my brother will commit suicide. he’s only here for one reason. stories like this are getting frighteningly common. and anytime i ever hear from a feminist that ‘men need to dominate women’ i could scream in their face

  21. Twice I was told specifically that I could not be hired for a federal job (USFS) because they needed to hire a woman or a minority.

  22. I am treated rudely by my customers and coworkers. I never see that with my female coworkers.

  23. I’ve been passed over for promotions a few times and told to my face “we want a woman in that position”. Once when I was in retail at age 18, another time 19, another time at 20.

    Then after I became a research scientist I had a COO admit to me she wouldn’t be hiring or promoting any more men. When the org chart got reorganized she promoted a single woman to a Dept Director. She then opened job postings for all the other departments with “women and minority applicants preferred”. Otherwise she’d have to promote a man from one of those teams to Director.

    She also formed a Women of (Company name) club. They met on company time and had lunch bought by the company. When our 4 IT guys, who spent every lunch together, put Gentleman of (Company name) lunch on the calendar as a joke, she wrote them up and put one on a PIP.

  24. When I am working in a all black work place I feel disadvantaged, and over looked more than not. Are groups of people all the same. People turn around and do the same exact thing that they complain about.

  25. My college just replaced all but one of the mens restrooms with gender neutral restrooms and kept every women’s restroom the exact same. I have been touched inappropriately by men and women at work and when I told anyone, they died of laughter

  26. A lot of sexual violence. I was groomed, lots of inappropriate touching in school (drive by grabs in the hall). I was raped once, almost twice, the second time with a knife to my throat (she ran away because someone came by, it was a group of girls walking somewhere).

    I have a few times try to get any kind of support, no one cared to actually try to help me. Not the police, no therapists, no SA prevention organizations, nobody. I’m on my own I guess.

  27. First responder/healthcare worker. Crisis social worker.

    People express they are afraid of you, while putting you first to respond to dangerous situations bc u r a big boy.

    Also get the most physically aggressive, threatening clients bc they scare other workers.

    Multiple supervisors say ppl complain you are intimidating but only bc you are a 6ft bodybuilder. It has nothing to do with how you act, think, etc.

  28. Church group held a dodgeball game with guys and girls mixed into the teams. During the match, I got told not to throw the ball at girls. Like what? Then why are we even playing with girls?

  30. 1st time was working at teavana, all the females got breaks, I was 1 of 2 males working there and I never got a break, (against the law) had to beg for breaks. Constantly getting slighted, by and large they are bankrupt now, which is good. Fired me and then refused to pay me, denied I ever worked there… Had to get the local govt labor office to get involved.

    ​

    2nd time, I was a delivery driver for car parts, I’d drop off parts at auto shops, the manger of one company grabbed my dick, as in reached around and grabbed it, I left, reported it to my female manager and she mildly seemed concerned… 10mins later she ordered me to go back, she tried to spin it like it was no big deal and the work was important. I refused, clocked out, was told to write an incident report, did so and then quit.

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