Summary: I’m 99% sure she will break up with me on Friday please help me stop it.
Hi people of Reddit, please could you take the time to read this and help me. So currently me (17F) and my girlfriend (18F) are going through a rough patch (we’ve nearly been dating 2 years) and 2 weeks ago she broke up with me but then asked me to date again about a week ago, so we were dating again and still technically are but I think she’s going to break up with me on Friday 🙁
Basically the reasons she first broke up with me was because I said some mean things about her family behind their back to her (I thought it was ok at the time as we often talk bad about our own families to each other, and I didn’t really mean it I was just annoyed at the time) and she said I take out my sadness and anger on her (which unfortunately is true, she and I called very often and what ever mood I had I do think I projected onto her, not to justify my actions just to explain but I’m struggling a lot and wasn’t intentionally trying to be mean) but anyway, she broke up with me for those reasons.
However, I have also learnt that she fell in love with a boy she was taking to and in my head I’m thinking that she broke up with me to be with him but when he didn’t feel the same way she came back to me (idk if this is true it’s just what my brain thinks) (before the breakup she also mentioned being poly a few times, I think that might be her trying to have both of us)
Yeah so she got back with me and I was super happy but then after several days a small thing happened, well to me it was small, I don’t understand why she’s so mad lol. Basically she said the day before and throughout the day how she was gonna play this game with me and I was super looking forward to it and she kept saying we will do it soon etc so I was kinda waiting the whole day then I started to get tired (it was night) so I reminded her if we could play and she said soon. Then lots of hours past and then I asked again and she said sorry I’m playing with (name) right now.
And this made me extremely jealous and stressed because this was the boy she told me she fell in love with and I know it’s just a game but I felt so betrayed especially as it was that boy. So when she said she was playing with him I said “I don’t care” and then after a few minutes she said she was gonna hang up and started to go to the computer so I said “I don’t care, date (name) then” or something along those lines and then I hanged up before she could. 🙁
Then I sent her voicemails to say please don’t break up with me and stuff and she texted how it’s not about (name) and that she can’t even play a wholesome game with a friend etc and told me she didn’t want to text anymore.
I was sending more voicemails upset about the situation and about how I perceive (name) and her. And she told me to stop sending so I did.
I asked her if she still wanted to date me and she read the message but didn’t reply, so I guess that means no 🙁 so I texted her not to tell me until after school on Friday so I could get through the week.
She didn’t wanna call or text for a few days but last night wanted to play the game with me. It was fun I asked to call she said no tho. She says we will talk on Friday.
I am sad and scared, she means so much to me and is all I have apart from my cat. I don’t want to loose her, how do I make her not break up with me.
Please help guys. 🙁
P.s. am feeling super lonely if anyone wants to try to be friends that would be cool I know I sound desperate sounding :’)
TLDR: I’m 99% sure she will break up with me on Friday please help me stop it.
4 comments
You need to break up in general. You’re not mentally okay enough to handle a relationship and instead of talking about your frustrations, you’re throwing a fit. Yes, it’s shitty she left you hanging instead of outright saying to you why she wasn’t available to play yet. But you’re bombarding her voicemail begging her to stay, which can be seen as quite manipulative.. I think you mean well, you’re young and have a lot to learn obviously. There’ll be more people to meet in life besides her, and you begging her to be with you isn’t something you should aspire to have. You shouldn’t have to beg the people you love to stay with you, or choose you first. Whether she breaks up with you or not, you really should anyway.
She’s an individual person and can do what she wants. You two aren’t in a healthy relationship.
We’re not going to tell you how to take away someone else’s free will, sorry.
You can’t force another person to be in a relationship with you. The problem is that if she wants to break up, she’s likely already made up her mind. Friday is just timing.
From what you posted, you’re overly attached and needy. That could be smothering her and she’s not happy with that. You two also sound like you have communication and respect issues. For example, she didn’t communicate that she was playing a game with (name) until after you had gotten frustrated. She also seemed to be taking your time for granted and assuming you’d be available to play whenever she was done with (name). That seems disrespectful.
Separately, you don’t seem to want to understand her point of view about how and why she’s spending time with (name), you just want to let your jealousy and insecurity take over. Add in the overstepping with the comments about family and you two are in a rough patch. The communication absolutely needs to improve.
Communication needs to be a two way street. Yes, you want to get your point across but you also need to take the time to understand how she sees things and you’re not doing that. That likely builds frustration on her part and makes her not want to listen to your side which leads to a communication breakdown. You both need to work on that.