I recently moved into a new place and my roommate has a cleaner come once a fortnight.
I’m autistic and I find this really awkward. What is the etiquette when the cleaner is around?
Should I carry on doing what I was doing as if they’re not here? Or acknowledge them and carry on doing what I’m doing? Or should I move to another room while they’re in my room?
I just don’t know what I’m meant to be doing and what is rude or not.
Edit: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who answered this. it’s all really helpful. I should have mentioned that the cleaner is Ukrainian and doesn’t speak english other than hello, bye, and okay, and i’m not sure she understands much either. My housemate has a list of things to be cleaned on the fridge written in Ukrainian for her.
I might take the advice and use it as a good time to go out and go food shopping though.
24 comments
Say hello, ask if they want a drink and tell them to let you know if they need anything then leave them to it. If you have anything specific you want them to clean then ask them, they won’t mind it’s their job. When they’re done you say thank you and show them out.
Say hello, ask them if they are good.
Offer them a cuppa, and then just stay out of their way.
Usually a simple hi will do. I tend to go out for a few hours just so I’m not in the way of cleaning but, you can always finish up what you’re doing and move to your room.
If you don’t want the cleaner to clean your room then I’m sure you can ask them not to.
Two principles apply:
– they are a human being, worthy of respect
– they have a job to do, that they are happy to just get on with because they are being paid for it
This means that you offer basic politeness & also keep out of their way as far as possible, so they get can get their work done.
If there is something specific you would like done (or not done) then you communicate this calmly & respectfully – in a “colleague to colleague” manner.
Sometimes I have the cleaner skip my office if they arrive while I’m dialled into meetings. If this is the first time that’s happened I would tell them before the meeting starts, or (if they will arrive after it’s started) leave a note. Subsequent times they’ll know it’s ok for them to skip the room.
Otherwise, I would leave the room for them to clean it if possible. Maybe take my lunch when they’re ready to do my room, or move my laptop to the kitchen. But do it with politeness – like clearing out a meeting room for someone else who has it booked.
I work from home so my cleaners are here when I am, here is what I do:
I let them in, exchange hellos and pleasantries, let them know if there is anything I need doing like the shower head needs an extra scrub. Then I say ‘I’ll let you get on with it, I’ll be in here if you need me’. Then I just sit at my desk put some music on and they clean.
When they want to clean my office (spare room) they just give me a shout and I go into the kitchen make a drink, look at my phone until they’re done.
Our cleaner comes at 9.30 on Thursdays by arrangement. We know this and so save a task, say popping to Tesco’s, for that time. She arrives, we have a two minute chat about anything relevant ( this week was we’re on holiday next week so we don’t need her) and then leave her to it. When we started, we showed her where the cups were if she fancies a drink but she usually just blasts through and gets off.
I will always say hello to my cleaner and ask her how she’s doing, maybe let her know if there is something that needs attention. But in general I let her get on with it and I go back to my desk and work. Usually I don’t have her clean my desk, but if I did I’d probably just step out of the room for a few minutes to give space. Say goodbye when she leaves and that’s it really.
They’re used to working around people so I wouldn’t stress about it.
We’re now both WFH. Cleaner gets on with her work, we have a natter in between tasks. And she talks to the cats too.
I try to stay out of the cleaner’s way by moving around the house. It’s just easier. You don’t have to entertain them or monitor them or anything – a brief greeting and if you’re friendly, a few minutes chat, then just leave them to get on with it.
Go to another room
If you don’t want the cleaner tell them they don’t need to clean your room.
Say hello ,Then just sit out of the way, I live in a serviced apartment so regularly have a cleaner I normally just grab my iPad and go sit in one of the common areas to not get in their way.
Most people have it right here mate. Say hi, ask them if they need anything then let them get on with the job. If you happen to grab a cuppa or drink when they’re there offer them one too. They’re not going to use that as a time wasting opportunity – and you don’t have to sit with them or anything like that just drop it off and go do whatever you would do anyway.
Maybe a bye/thanks if they let you know they’re done too. Just general politeness, think how you’d treat a shopkeeper
I absolutely always go out.
I recommend you introduce yourself and then keep out of their way. Something like, *”Hi, I’m xxx, if there’s anything you need I’ll just be in yyy room trying to stay out of your way. Please let me know if you need me to move.”*
and then let them get on with it. Some cleaners are chatty and, although I know some people like that, I don’t, so I don’t engage much beyond just being polite as above.
I always thank them when they are leaving as well.
Stand over them to make sure they’re cleaning properly, give advice on how best to clean, list all the things they didn’t clean properly last time, never make eye contact.
Honestly just try to avoid being in when they are. I go the office whenever mine is scheduled to come. Its just easier for everyone.
If the house is empty they can be more efficient and tbh I’ve learnt cleaners like to call people/play music when cleaning quite often and they can’t/won’t do so if you’re in.
Appreciate not everyone can or wants to go the office but well worth the minor inconvenience for me.
If they come at a set time on a set day each fortnight, I would personally go out of the house and work in the office, go for a walk or a coffee, do some shopping, etc and then come back to a nice clean house when they’ve finished.
You tidy up and clean your house so it looks respectable for the cleaner. Then the cleaner cleans it.
Only half joking
Edit: to clarify, having a cleaner will be most effective if you declutter and clear surfaces etc before they arrive. That way they can spend the time cleaning not moving your stuff around. Other than that I would just try to give them space and be in another room.
Hover over them and don’t allow any awkward silences
Please acknowledge them , just say hello ask if they want a drink .
Just say simply say im going to be in X room if im in your way please say and il move as i don’t want to disturb your work .
Wow a lot of people can afford a cleaner. I didn’t think it was this normal.
To make you aware, there are somethings certain cleaners don’t do and certain things they will charge you extra for if you’ve asked them to do it (as it will take more of their time.) Hopefully you discussed all of this before hand.
Tidy uo before they come round no one wants to clean a dirty house.
Welcome them into your home and offer them a cuppa.