How do I initiate sex with my bf?

18 comments

1. Well the time SO walked into the room naked said “your services are required” and led me to the bedroom seemed to work pretty well.

   Most men have pretty simple libidos provide stimulus and we’re ready to go.

   Kiss, hug, grope, cuddle, and that should be plenty for him to get the message.

2. Crawl over to him, put ur hand on the back of his head and lightly grab a fistful of hair turn his face to urs and whisper “up for play time?”

   EtA: Additional examples

   – From the door way to the bedroom say “hey, there’s something going on in our bedroom. Can u come check it out?” When he looks up take ur top off, head into the room assume ur favorite position, and wait for him to follow.

   – Wear a skirt. If he’s on the couch or paying attention to his phone, toss panties onto his lap. Lean back and show him they’re missing.

   – Place hand on chest, say “I’m feeling…..hungry” while slowly sliding it into his pants.

   – buy a sexy outfit that u can wear under ur clothes (preferably something disposable, or that ur ok getting fluids covered in fluids). Excuse urself to the washroom. Come out wearing it (or naked if it’s easier)

   – or a classic, bring ur face close to his ear and whisper “mmm I want u”

3. Bad advice:

   get in an argument with him, when he says “fuck you!”, respond with “fuck me yourself, coward!” and while maintaining eye contact, start getting undressed.

   Edit: bonus points if you toss a condom at him and hit either head.

4. A woman could literally say, “do you want to fuck?” To 90% of men they’re dating and the answer will be yes.

5. Be seductive , start with foreplay & tease him . You know what turns him on so start with that .

6. Lots of fun suggestions in the comments, but if you want something a bit more chill… I’ve had past partners ask, during heavy make-out sessions, “do you want to take this further?” or “wanna take this to the bedroom?” Either of those should work just fine.

7. If it’s your first time with him, don’t do any of the sexy spontaneous stuff people are suggesting. Don’t get me wrong, u/peter__griffin__, some of that is great for later but maybe stick to keeping it simple. Most of the stuff that people are suggesting doesn’t really take into account you knowing whether or not your bf is actually in the mood or ready for that step at all.

   If it’s your first time with him, ask him if he’s ready to take it to that level, and don’t put pressure on it. Talk about likes/dislikes, it’s not sexy, but it’ll sure be a mood ruiner when you do something that they really don’t like. Take the time to know each other, and if it’s not something he’s ready for, don’t rush it.

   The simple answer to your question is to ask if he’s ready.

   Best wishes and good luck.

8. Maybe while you’re making out, start by touching his neck or cheeks, eventually his chest and arms and then find your way down to his crotch. Or you could literally just look him in the eye and say “I want to fuck.” Lol. Everything and anything in between those two options would work I think haha

9. It depends on your comfort level in terms of how open you are with being expressive. My hubby has autism and isn’t great at expressing he wants sex so I told him just put my hand on his crotch and I’ll do the rest! Can be that simple if you like.

10. There’s probably a post somewhere else on the internet from your BF asking, “How do I initiate sex with my GF? I’ve been dating my GF for a little over a month, I think she may really want to? How do I tell her I want to?”

    As a general rule, asking a guy for sex is just about the easiest thing in the universe. I mean, sure, he could be in the very tiny percentage of guys who don’t want sex with their GF they have been dating a month. But it’s 100 times more likely you could just grunt and take your pants off and he’d jump to it. Anywhere from, “You are so sexy, want to get naked?” to, “If you don’t fuck me like crazy right now my head is going to explode. Do it now!!! NOW!!!” will probably work just fine.

    Have you been kissing/making out? It’s typically not too hard to get a guy to go from there to sex without a word said. Just start removing your clothes, and his clothes if that seems appropriate, keep touching and kissing and see where that goes once you are both naked?

    Or you could just beat around the bush (pun not intended, but I’ll roll with it) and ask, how do you feel about sex? How long after you start seeing someone do you usually want to have sex with them? Do you like a woman who is aggressive? Or do you prefer to wait and initiate sex yourself?” Maybe get a little more pointed, “What does a woman have to do for you to know she’s interested in sex?”

11. Cryptic-as-fuck idea:

    Step 1) Start a tickle fight while wearing some easy to remove clothes.

    Step 2) assuming things went well and there is now a full-blown tickle fight going and one of you is on top of the other somehow, go in for the kiss. (Like… a full-on kiss. None of that peck on the cheek shiz. Kiss that fool right in his mouth-hole.) Eye contact is recommended up to first contact with the mouths for optimal mood-setting and coordination.

    Step 3) congrats. This plan doesn’t usually go this far. If you aren’t already boning, one of two things happened:

    A) plan aborted – one or more parties involved weren’t feelin’ it. Perhaps another time.

    B) y’all still making out but it needs *one last push* to get it there.

    3-B) at this point you gotta go **BOLDER**.
    Start undressing yourself while still making out

    OR

    say something sexy about wanting the sex from him

    OR

    start reaching for his clothes and/or peen to move it to a better position for the doing of sex.

    At this point, it’s either already happening or it isn’t going to in the here and now. You did everything you could under the circumstances.

12. Take it step by step. I don’t know if you have dine anything sexual yet and just mean you are ready for penis in vagina sex or if you haven’t done anything yet and want to get started.

    If you have done other things, get condoms in his size and while you are doing other sexual things you can get the condoms out to let him know you are ready for the next step.

    If you haven’t done anything yet or not much, just take ot step by step. There is no need to rush.

13. I always refuse

14. Last time I wanted sex and he wasn’t paying attention, I just began to remove my clothes and then kinda said: “attention please”. Didn’t take long until we actually had sex after that:)

15. Scream like a dolphin. Works every time.

16. Be affectionate. Start by touching him how you might like to be touched and see where it leads.

    Or do you mean you haven’t had sex and you want to inform him you’re ready?

17. Is this some bot? If you are having problems with your bf, then it sounds like the problem is with HIM, not you. Either he way too emotionally stressed, has serious medical or psychological problems or he is just asexual or a demisexual. Is that what you want with your life? If I had a chance to start again, I would have listened to the signs and to my inner voice, but I’m married with a kid and a lot of strings attached. You, however, are NOT. Don’t make my mistake.

18. It might be good to first talk about it to make sure you two are both up for it.

    If this would be your first time, nothing beats the first time like having it happen naturally. Make out, make out, and MAKE OUT! If he’s too sweet of a guy to not start kissing and smooching up your neck on his own, ask him to in between your gasps. Give him the impression that he is free to touch you anywhere. If he needs this guidance, gently grab his hand and place them on your breasts and squeeze them for him. He should get the idea that he’d be free to fondle to his pleasure. From here, both of you will have the mutual understanding of what proceeds. Of course, take it slowly. Make sure the heavy make out session lasts a good amount of time before you start to take each others clothes off. Most importantly, enjoy every single second of it, but keep in mind that the sex you might have seen in porn…IS NOT REAL.