Growing up and now, I never had any urges to masturbate or even bothered to attempt to and things like porn are uninteresting to me. I feel about as aroused watching porn as I would watching the weather. I always questioned if I was asexual and read the guide on their subreddit and determined I am not sex repulsed, it’s more of a meh thing for me. I really enjoy intimacy such as kissing as it makes me feel loved and I like making my boyfriend happy sexually.
However, when he focuses on me, I don’t feel the kind of pleasure people describe. Using a vibrator on me is equivalent to if I started stoking my arm. Is this an issue I should talk to a doctor about or is this normal for women? I’m not sure how to convey this to my boyfriend either without hurting his feelings. Does this sound like a hormone issue or asexuality?
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It sounds like you are asexual. The thing you are describing not feeling as relevant are the subcategories of asexual, which are sex-positive, sex-neutral and sex-repulsed. It is perfectly possible to be asexual but sex-positive (you enjoy sex but purely as a fun experience that you would happily spend more time doing, just like any other hobby), or sex-neutral, which it sounds like you might be – with no strong feelings one way or the other.
You do need to talk to your boyfriend about this though. Unless he is aware of your situation, he is likely going to try harder and harder to get you to enjoy sex, orgasm, etc., purely out of the act of being a caring partner and wanting the enjoyment to be mutual. He needs to know that he doesn’t need to tie himself in knots trying to achieve something that very likely won’t happen. In situations like this, it’s common for the sexual one who gets their needs met through sex to reciprocate in other ways – genuinely think to yourself what things you REALLY enjoy; is it massage? Is it simply cuddling while a movie plays? Whatever it may be, be sure to let him know that in his desire to please you, that he has ways he can do it. Speaking as a man, if I had no idea how I could make my wife feel good in any way, I would be incredibly depressed and feel useless.