I (24f) have been seeing a guy (24m) recently. He has very little experience. I’m an experienced person. (body count of +- 30 people and I’ve been in 2 serious relationships)
I noticed he is insecure which he doesn’t have to be. How do I make this as easy as possible for him?
I don’t want to make him feel more insecure. I was thinking about just being very open to him and taking the lead but I don’t know if that’s maybe a little emasculating?
How do I give him confidence?
4 comments
I’d say you nailed it on the head. If you have experience then you can act as teacher a bit. Patience and all that. The journey, not the destination, blah blah.
If he has a dominate bone in his body then he’ll eventually be taking you to pound-town all on his own. Goodluck!
Just be kind and encouraging. I don’t think it’s emasculating to be expressive about exactly what you want. Positive encouragement goes a long way. Has he talked about being inexperienced? If so, you can acknowledge that and say you don’t mind and be encouraging, tenderly, carefully see if he likes a teacher/student dynamic (I don’t literally mean a teacher/student kink). He might be super keen for a positive and sexy person to give him tips on pleasing them. See if you can tell him you find it a big turn on to to teach someone to please you just right.
Omg I’m in a slightly similar situation. I (23f) have a significantly higher body count than my boyfriend (25m).
He isn’t insecure about his performance, but he is shy about his sexual expression. He doesn’t even really know what he likes. I have taken the lead and introduced him to things that we both enjoy now. My therapist suggest goofy sex games to ease the pressure.
Encouraging words and compliments.
“You’re such a quick learner”
“I love how you feel”
“Can we do more X? I’d love it if we did more X”
When doing these things, don’t compare him to an ex partner.
Not only does he have less experience, he’s probably bombarded with messages saying he’s worth less than others due to lack of experience.
Also initiate. A woman can say 100 nice things about a man in bed but only like 2 of those things are believable without initiating.