I don’t know where to turn. About me: 30s (f) I came out at a very young age as bi/pan but primarily dated females, up until my last bf but he was pre transition FTM. After we broke up I find myself really wanting to have sex when a cis man, catch is I never have. I’ve started online dating and get really flirty. I’ve had sex with plenty of women and used a multitude of toys but like I said never actually had the D. I’m nervous, I feel experienced in the bedroom until it comes to this. I don’t particularly want to disclose this information to who I decide to sleep with. How do I stay confident like I have through messages/text, I’ve talked the talk but i want to walk the walk as the say. is there something I should be prepared for? I feel at a loss and im not sure what to ask here but really needed to get this off my chest.
4 comments
I know you said you don’t want to, but you’d be better off telling the guy
It’ll make everything move easier for you, not least because he’ll be better prepared to help you through it
As someone who has had sex with a few dozen cis men, a handful of women, and a few nb/trans….if you want to prepare for anything with regards to piv sex with a cis man, I’d suggest to prepare for disappointment. Statistically (with my stats, info, experiences) it’s been the cis men who’ve let me down most sexually.
I would suggest offering up to the sacrifice…I mean, date… That it is your first time with piv with a cis man. Hopefully he will understand and know what he should do with that info. More likely than not though, it won’t matter to him and he’ll plow through the experience as he would with anyone else.
Choose wisely.
Everyone is a virgin to some sex act until they’re not. So do not feel the 30-yr virgin or that you gotta be a beast in bed. You are you and your experiences.
It will go better if you tell the guy. I also don’t see the average male not wanting to deflower the lesbians- it’s what porn was invented for 😂
So I am assuming, from your sexual description of yourself, you are sexually experienced to know if you need clit stimulation while being penetrated and what kind of penetration you like.
If that’s a wrong assumption, I suggest some solo play to figure things out.
If you do NO penetration, you may have slightly shrunken around your opening and should get your self some small to medium girthed vibrators and/or a dilation kit. Better you learn you need to stretch yourself by yourself than with a partner, especially a potential ONS.
But once you know yourself, know you control the speed of everything. You control when foreplay moves from base to base, how long it lasts, if you need an orgasm before PIV, and how fast/slow PIV should happen.
All of this should be in a verbal conversation before you start to have sex but can be a sexy conversation while kissing.
You have fun girl. Just pick a guy and tell them what you want. Most men are very good at following direction. If you find one that isn’t, LEAVE. You don’t need to let some guy trying to speed past foreplay into your body.
Everything is on your terms!
Bring your own condoms and lube! Have fun!
Maybe try to find a guy more organically for the first time.
A trusted friend of a friend perhaps.