I have always wondered this, and now I have somewhere to address it: How do I respond to conclusory or generally odd comments? I am 38, and I am still lost as to the following:
“What are you doing up so late/early?”
My understanding is that sometimes, as a society, people can’t sleep. Sometimes, I respond to emails, play on Instagram (post stories), or otherwise take an action. Whether it’s friends looking at my insta timestamps (something I never do either), parents responding to texts, coworkers responding to emails, I never know what to say here. For one, my job is flexible, I can work 10am to 8pm or 6am to 3pm. Depending on when I feel like working, an email at 130 am isn’t late (or early). And then, what do I say? Do I have to respond to that? Seems almost intrusive and judgmental at the same time. I generally ignore it, but, what do redditors do?
“I’m so proud of you!”
This statement is sometimes used by friends when I talk about completing a menial task and feels extremely condescending. I’m 38, why would a peer be proud of me for: completing a large work product, dealing with inter-personal work relationships, or generally comforting other friends and family during times of struggle? I almost feel like it’s a way to minimize my accomplishment and also taking credit for the accomplishment. But being “proud,” the friend takes the position of a mentor (which their not) instead of a peer. How do I respond to this?
“I don’t believe allergies are real.”
I have a non-celiac wheat allergy. I know this because wheat made my throat close, I got blood tests done, and the blood test said that I had a wheat allergy. I had more tests done, amd the tests said it was not celiac. So, when I tell coworkers and family during a lunch that I can’t eat wheat, I usually receive thos reaction. I have tried a couple of approaches in the past, but they seem to find it abrasive. I’ve said, “sorry you feel that way,” “would you like to see my blood yest,” and “idk what to tell you.” Every response is met with a glare like I’m the asshole.
General and superfluous complaints.
I have a few coworkers that complain about everything to how a car was parked in the ally 17 floors below our office window to how the government should not let people make certain decisions. Ibhavent spoken to this coworker since April. But, at some point, I should learn how to deal with this. Any advice?
Celebrity gossip, “Guy who shot person accidentally must feel SO bad!”
Idk and idc. Shooting someone on accident must suck. But, dies he feel bad about ir? Idk. This also goes for people who cry when celebrities die, or only talk about celebrity things. I don’t care about celebrities, and they certainly don’t care about me. How do I navigate these conversations?
ETA, “if that actually happened” or generally calling you a liar. How do you approach this?
1 comment
> What are you doing up so late/early?
This is just small talk to that people can get to know you better. People usually make small talk in an effort for others to open up more about their lives and form a connection.
> “I’m so proud of you!” feels extremely condescending.
It’s not. People are saying that because they understand that it often takes a lot of work for someone to accomplish a task. Most people enjoy this. And how would they be “taking responsibility” for this task?
> I don’t believe allergies are real.
Aight now this one’s pretty rude, if it actually happened. I’d expect a ton of people to know that allergies are real. Perhaps you could explain to them more so they understand.
> General and superfluous complaints
Again, more small talk. Alot of people do this not because they’re actually pissed, but because they want to find another excuse to talk to others and perhaps start an interesting conversation.
> Celebrity gossip, “Guy who shot person accidentally must feel SO bad!”
Again, more small talk.
Overall it seems like you have an issue handling small talk. It makes sense. I couldn’t give a damn about whether a celebrity dies. But sometimes you gotta act to make the part. You can also find other people to hang out with if you really don’t like being around them.