I (25F) met up with a guy (26M) that I have history with and I’m confused about his intentions. For context, we dated for a few months back in 2019, but we fell out of touch once I found out he had gotten into a relationship. We never slept together, but we weren’t able to stay friends because things just got too weird between us. Fast forward to a few months ago, we got back in touch and he asked if I’d be willing to meet up. I was open to it, plus I was under the impression that he was single because I had seen him on Tinder a few months prior.
I followed up with him on plans and he suggested meeting up on Saturday night. We ended up spending more than 6 hours together, just catching up and talking, but he never took things further. He didn’t mention whether he was in a relationship or not and he didn’t ask me if I was in one, but I assumed that if he were in a relationship he wouldn’t be making plans to meet up with an “ex” on a Saturday night and staying out until 2AM? If only because of how it all looks… Anyways, we got along really well, and I felt like there was a lot of sexual tension, but even after dropping me off he didn’t make a move so I’m confused because I initially thought that’s where things were headed.
He doesn’t believe that you can be friends with an ex, or that girls and guys can be “platonic” friends, so I’m not sure where that leaves me or what his intentions behind us meeting up were? I haven’t spoken to him since Saturday, but I would definitely like to see him again. I just can’t figure out whether this was a one-time casual meet up, or if I was right in assuming he was trying to hook up (but then for some reason decided not to), or if I’m just misreading the entire thing?
TLDR; I (25F) met up with a guy (26M) that I have history with, we dated for a few months in 2019 but fell out of touch once I found out he was in a relationship, we recently reconnected and he asked to meet up sometime, we met up on Saturday night and hung out for over 6 hours but he didn’t make a move – I’m confused because I would like to see him again but I can’t tell if his interest is platonic or sexual, or if I’m misreading the situation?
10 comments
You need to find out if he has a gf. If he does stay clear of him. If not, then meet up again if you want.
> we dated for a few months in 2019 but fell out of touch once I found out he was in a relationship
Yikes. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You should not have let him back in your life at all.
*He* didn’t make a move. What about you?
– Did you want him to make a move?
– Do you want to make a move?
– What’s stopping you from making a move?
If you’re not the kind of woman who is capable of making the first move, then after answering the first question, simply have a frank conversation with him and ask him what he’d like to do. Perhaps he hasn’t decided yet and is getting to know you (again) so as to decide whether he wants a friend or girlfriend.
Probably still has a girlfriend. Why do you want to sleep with him again?
You should first communicate with him and ask what he’s looking for. Go from there after
Just by the title I can say dump him and ik it sounds harsh but come onnn women, we have to do better for ourselves
He was using you both, only his girlfriend didn’t know
Sounds like things are rocky in his relationship and he came to you for an ego boost. Ask him or right if he’s still in a relationship.
“Hey, I’d like to see you again. And just to clear the air, I want to tell you that I am interested in [hooking up with/dating/being fwb with] you.”
You get to set expectations, too, and since you have a clear desire here, I think you’re in a great position to do so. Sounds like you’ll also need to explicitly ask him if he’s dating anyone seriously.
I know it sounds harsh but breakup with him. Know know your value and worth.