I (25m) am currently chatting with this girl (27F) who I am interested with. But I also have a couple of FWB who I flirt with almost daily. I feel like I’m cheating, even though the relationship isn’t official and she probably doesn’t share the same feelings towards me (we do tend to text for an entire day from time to time tho, so I’m not sure if that means something or not)
We haven’t dated yet and honestly I don’t know what’s the right thing to do. Should I stop talking to my FWB’s now since I’m hoping to have a relationship with her or should I wait until things are official?
Because I’m worried that in the near future IF we do end up in a relationship and when I do tell her that I did have fwb’s she would be upset (some context: a large number of local girls here don’t like it when a guy is sexually active with partners before marriage)
Another thing is, should I even tell her? I mean if we do get together in the future should I tell her about my “sex life” or should I keep it a secret. I don’t think I should but I hate keeping secrets like this from potential partners. But I’m afraid that being honest would be some sort of self sabotage behavior.
PS: we’ve only been texting for 9 days probably which kinda makes me believe that it’s way too early from this kind of thinking and that I’m over thinking the entire thing
TL;DR: I’m currently talking to this girl I’m interested in and I’m not sure when I should take it seriously and treat it as something official.
3 comments
You ask her what her values are for casual dating. Is she comfortable dating other people, or having FWBs, while dating? Go from there. Everyone has different thresholds for this. I don’t mind seeing other people, until things start to get serious. But some women prefer that you only date/sleep with one person at a time
If you are serious about wanting to have a relationship with her, my personal opinion is that she should be your focus.
As far as your past, it’s not something you have to disclose upfront but I assume you will have conversations about past partners and so you would have to tell her at that point.
If she ends the relationship because of that, that’s fine, you just weren’t compatible. Or she may be fine with it.
Personally, I am not a fan of a FWB situation. It always ends up awkwardly. If you value the woman you are hoping to be in a relationship with, then you should stop the FWB situations.