I can’t masterbate in my room cause it’s not just mine, I have to go to living room but living room has cameras and outside too. I mainly do it at night cause it sets the vibe I guess..
So bathroom is the best choice but there’s a few house spiders who are friendly, and I chicken out because what if spiders see me?
They are not humans but it’s so embarrassing? Is something wrong with me. Any facts about spiders senses that will make me lose fear about masterbating in bathroom?
Update: I brought out a little nightlight and turned the bathroom lights off for secure feeling, and did my business, not satisfying as I thought, then cleaned up, checked on the spider and it is not in the same place.
Had to run out!
Edit: Woah I didn’t expect people to engage here this much, I’m an entertainment huh?
28 comments
This is hilarious im sorry.
They probably think you’re shit at making webs
😂
This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time
Just think of all the judging they’re doing as all eight of their eyes are watching you.
Spiders actually have poor eyesight, so looks like you’re good to go.
Do you watch the spiders when they masturbate? They don’t watch you either.
i don’t know how *common* that would be but it sounds like you’re just really self-conscious. that’s ok. spider fact that might make you less afraid– they don’t have the neurological capacity to understand or care about what you’re doing. it’s probably still going to be something you’re self-conscious about, but that should fade with experience.
I can’t imagine the horror if some woman would wish to watch.
You are severely paranoid💀
Most spiders only see changes in tone ie dark and light.They also do not have the brain capacity to understand what you are doing. They also do not possess the communication skills to tell anyone what you have been doing. You are safe to fap.
This can’t be real? Or you musts come from a super conservative, strict religious household.
I was going to tell a joke that was gender-specific, so I looked up your profile lol…
Of course, now I’m just more lost.
Spiders are the least of my problems, I got all of the Avengers watching me
Beware – Be very aware !
Spiders have a secret agenda and compile records on who is masterbating.
Wait until a 4 legged pet watches the entire time and judges you
Don’t get a dog or you will never have sex.
I am quite certain that a spider will not comprehend what you’re doing, nor would it care even if it did.
I know people are poking fun at this, but if it’s genuinely making you distressed it could be an anxiety disorder, such as OCD or GAD. If anxiety effects other areas of your life it might be worth looking into getting some support.
This had no business making me spit out my drink. Bruh 💀
Yooo, I thought I was alone, I’m the same man😅. Whether I’m doing it in my room or the bathroom, I make sure that I check every corner beforehand😂
A part of me just assumed this was a troll post. But the more I read it I think this person might be a little… Touched
Just catch the spiders and release them outside of your house.
Don’t get a dog. Things get real weird when they’re under the bed sighing at you. Or worse, staring.
I like to make eye contact with them while jerkin’. Establish dominance.
Quite frankly, the spider has absolutely NO frame of reference for what you’re doing. They see a giant creature doing a thing, but they don’t understand what the giant creature is doing. You’re so profoundly different from a spider, it doesn’t have the framework to understand whether you’re male or female, or how your giant species makes the smaller giants. A spider literally doesn’t give a fuck what the giant thing is doing, as long as the giant thing isn’t going to threaten its life or its web.
Studies have definitively shown that spiders are among nature’s most courteous and circumspect creatures. It has been consistently observed that, if they realize they are in a room with someone who is popping one off, they will politely face the wall and mind their own business until the individual who is “having a go” has completed their business and is off to continue their day. There is a practical litany of scientific literature to support these findings. In light of these incontestable facts concerning these refreshingly decent little arachnids, you have absolutely nothing to fear.
lmao spiders is a bit far for me, but I do prefer if my cats aren’t watching when I do it.