My(26M) Long distance gf(21F) of three months posted a pic yesterday on her Snapchat story with hands in hand with some guy(it was just a pic of holding each other hands) and when I asked her about it she told me it’s her friend and she’s doing it because her friend wanted to make his ex jealous but idk how to believe this but soon after I confronted her she deleted the story and when I got mad and started asking why she did what she did and how hurt I got with her actions she blocked me from everywhere. And I’m not able to sleep, eat, breathe or doing anything else. I’m trying to hold down my tears but it just rolling down my cheeks and while writing this my eyes are filled with them. Please help me or guide what should I do
Some back story also she was the one who chased me when I didn’t wanted a relationship and kept putting efforts until she made me fall in love and somewhere I know she’s not lying but the fact that she didn’t thought about my feelings is why I’m hurt the most. Also it’s my fault because I’ve serious trust issues because of my past relationship and now and then we used to fight a lot because I used to get really anxious when I wasn’t able to talk to her much and then I sometimes also accused her of cheating on me with some dude which I’m really sorry for but after coming in relationship with her she kinda changed and didn’t gave me much attention as she used to(like trying to talk to me or text me although we did but it wasn’t the same)
Tl;dr: my long distance gf of 3 months posted a pic of her hand holding hand of some random guy and according to her it’s her friend and he asked her to get back to her ex
28 comments
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You’re not being controlling. This is sketchy. Most likely, she’s cheating. Even her cover story is silly. “I’m just doing this to make his ex jealous.” If that’s true, what is she 21 or 12? She’s cheating, she slipped up in posting that, and now she’s blocked you hoping she can hide the truth from you.
Make his ex jealous by posting it on HER story? So not only has she disrespected you in front of EVERYONE that sees her story, she’s treating you like an idiot too.
I wouldn’t care if she wasn’t cheating, she did not prioritise your feelings or think about how this would look to anyone else?
Then instead of reassuring you, she blocks you to avoid the fair questions? I hope you realise you deserve so much more than this.
Your failings in past relationships does not mean you have to roll over for current relationships. Walking away from this is not a failing or giving up, it’s requiring a standard of respect and love for yourself as you are trying to have that standard for her.
She honestly sounds immature. If she isn’t cheating (and honestly this would be a weird slip up if she was) then just the fact that she would go along with this whole plot to make someone jealous shows it. And on top of that, not even thinking about your feelings as she did it or recognising her fault in this by throwing it back on you and blocking you screams immature. It’s tough but I guess it’s a lesson in letting people show themselves for exactly who they are before you let yourself fall for them completely. Sorry OP
Seriously? She is acting like a high schooler. It’s inappropriate. It’s childish to try and make someone’s ex jealous and to play along. Her friend is also Immature. You have every right to set a boundary. I wonder how she would feel if you did what she did.
Sounds like she just enjoys the chase and using people is something she does. I know it might be hard to digest but if she cared about your feelings then it would have popped into her head before she decided to pull that move on her post. You’ve been discarded my friend. It’s horrible but its happened and all you can do is move on as best you can.
When you are dating someone exclusively and she is being intimate (kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc.) with someone else, most of us believe it is perfectly fine and appropriate for you to question her about it. Do you feel like you were appropriate in how you asked her?
If she blocked you from all social media, is she saying she doesn’t want to continue being in a relationship with you?
If you both do want to move forward, maybe it is time for a great reset conversation to discuss boundaries. Both of you can make it clear what kind of relationship you want to be in and what you want to agree on about future actions and responsibilities… and then see if the other person can agree to that or discuss what compromises you’re both open to.
This is sketchy. If he’s trying to make his ex jealous why would she post in on her page? Long distance requires communication and trust and clearly there’s aspects missing. She should have communicated it to you. And if there’s any reason to distrust this isn’t going to work. I don’t think she’s being honest. Why would she block you instead of talking? Because she got caught. And being cheated on before doesn’t mean she wouldn’t cheat on someone else.
Bro. This will sound harsh but it’s the truth. Please don’t be naive, long distance relationship for her probably is just a way to Stay entertained ( a texting buddy ) while she’s off doing her thing elsewhere. She is seeing another dude
In short, dumb girl is dumb
You want advice? Break things off. Do it now, don’t waste time.
If her story is real, she’s an immature brat that partakes in juvenile/toxic games. If her story is false, she’s making a fool out of you. Either way she is 🗑️.
One thing is certain, she has shown her true colors, especially with how she behaved afterwards. Reality check, if you allow the relationship to continue, don’t whine later when she makes a fool out of you again.
Get over yourself and her and move there was no relationship between you two! You got played forget her if she wants in she will chase. She showed her colours by blocking you?
It has literally only been 3 months my dude. She is clearly cheating on you. Move on. It may seem like th world is caving in around you but are you really gonna sweat a girl who doesnt care about your feelings, is immature, and cheating on you??? This is the person you’re going to put your energy into???
You are not in love. You are in infatuation because 5 years from now she will be such an obscure moment in your life that you won’t even remember her name. Dust yourself off and keep it moving.
From LDR to NTR. Rip.
Yep sounds sketch. If what she said was true, the guy would have only posted it on his account. Makes no sense for her to post it on hers. Seems like she is getting tired of the long distance thing and is too immature to confront you about it. Run for the hills dude.
you’re feeling all these intense and conflicting emotions for 2 reasons: because this happened so recently, and because you got no closure.
her posting that photo on her story was disrespectful to you, she didn’t consider you or your feelings when she made that decision. she also didn’t consider you or your feelings when she blocked you. her excuse for the snapchat is plausible but also really silly. like, it could be true, or she’s cheating on you and forgot she had you on snapchat. if her excuse is true, she sounds childish, i don’t know of any grown adult that would do that. if she cheated, good riddance. either way, it doesn’t even matter, because the fact that she behaved in a way that was totally dismissive and inconsiderate of you and your feelings is the main issue.
i understand you have strong feelings for this girl but, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who everytime you argue or have a disagreement, instead of having a mature and productive discussion, she blocks you without warning? this is called stonewalling, its an abuse tactic, its where the other person cuts communication with someone for a period of time to emotionally control & manipulate them. either this or she has blocked you because she has decided that the relationship is over. in this case, why would you want to be with someone who is manipulative, avoids accountability, and who doesn’t even respect you enough to end the relationship properly?
your feelings are valid. you’re not being too much or paranoid or controlling, etc. you are entitled to your feelings and boundaries. i would feel the same way as you if i were in this situation. i know you struggle with anxiety in a relationship, as do i, and this unfortunately can sometimes leave us vulnerable to being manipulated by others.
i know right now things are very difficult, but this girl sounds immature, careless, and unpleasant. better you find out sooner rather than later. you deserve someone who respects you, takes accountability for their actions, cares about your feelings and communicates with you.
if someone can drop you so easily, so quickly and so thoughtlessly, then let them go. you deserve better. it will hurt for a while but, you will be okay in time. and one day you will find someone who will make you feel so grateful that it never worked out with this girl.
she may unblock you and reach out again. i advize you to stay away but, even if you do give her another chance, i know people like her and the relationship never goes anywhere. either you’ll end up leaving because you’ll get fed up of the manipulation, or you will stay in the relationship, anxious, unhappy & demoralised.
you will be ok, i promise 🙂 you are so young, you have all the time in the world. i wish you the best
Post what she did on your story so no one gets it twisted. Then move on with your life. Don’t waste time being sad that a cheater doesn’t want a relationship with you, in fact take comfort in it because it’s a habit that takes a lot of young people time and failure to break.
Someone who loves you would never block you like that. It causes and awakes deep abandonment issues. Do something good for yourself and block her on your end too. Its gonna be tough sweetheart but this is such a mess. She sounds very immature and thats okay, shes only 21, but youre a 26 yr old and you deserve stability in your relationships. Good luck, she sucks
>then I sometimes also accused her of cheating on me with some dude which I’m really sorry for but after coming in relationship with her she kinda changed and didn’t gave me much attention as she used to
Trust issues or not, being in a LDR us hard as fuck and we have to make the conscious choice everyday of trusting, it’s hella scary because you know that there’s plenty of people around your person and you’re away. What she did is weird but you clearly have a pattern and you need to work on that. Set your boundaries straight and let her set her’s.
It’s been 3 months and it’s long distance. Just end it and date someone older.
u need to work on urself because getting into a relationship especially a long distance one that requires security and trust which seems like u have neither. how can u love someone else if u don’t even love urself? i personally would try to move on and do some self improvement. i’m sorry this has happened to u, stay strong and best of luck!
Well my friend.. there comes a time when you have to accept the reality that some people just aren’t worth you sacrificing your peace. She was wrong and won’t admit it. I know how this feels, it’s absolutely sucks! And so does she. I know you still might want her but think about what would happen if y’all got back together: resentment much? Blocking somebody is a stronger action than we may think. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. I’m sorry
Harsh but to make it straight to the point: She enjoyed the chase. She doesn’t love you and never did. You’re infatuated and obsessed with her, not in love with her. You’re immensely insecure (I get it dude; I’m in my 30s and still insecure so not judging), and are wanting desperately to latch onto someone. It was a 3 month long LDR. That’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. She’s absolutely more than likely already seeing someone else, and very very likely that she was seeing someone at the same time as being in a relationship with you. Move on. She’s still in an immature teenage mindset.
Dude, she is cheating on you. Let her go. You don’t need her, you need a loyal woman.
>when I asked her about it she told me it’s her friend and she’s doing it because her friend wanted to make his ex jealous
Okay…
>but soon after I confronted her she deleted the story… she blocked me from everywhere.
Yeah she is cheating on her boyfriend with you or she has found a new boyfriend. Whatever the reason she blocked you, which means you are broken up.
>Not sure what to do?!
Move on, get over her, work on you being happy as an individual.
Dude…. You dodged a bullet. Anyone who would this is a giant red flag. She’s shite…
As someone who’s extremely in love with who I’m with I wouldn’t tolerate a second of this, nobody who does this is what you think they are and honestly if she hadn’t blocked you she’d be gaslighting you into being okay with it. You can do so much better, and remember it isn’t your fault or a reflection of your qualities nobody deserves that blatant disregard for their feelings.
Look in my opinion you gotta talk about it first with her. Like genuinely sit down and talk. But never stay with a cheater