If you’ve been with your gf or fiancé’ for years, why have you not married her yet?

25 comments

  3. Nothing to gain. Ive been married before and it didn’t stop us from getting divorced. All it did was make the process expensive and complicated.

  4. My wife and I dated for about 5 years before getting married because we first got together at 16 😅

  6. She never asked me? Took her 7 years to decide to propose she did and we are now married. So all it takes is for a woman to know this is the one and propose to him that she wants it to be serious.

  8. I don’t see the point in marriage. If two individuals want to live two lives and share them, why can’t they just do that? Why the need to tie themselves to each other financially and legally? Marriage seems like it just makes two people’s lives one life and that limits both my options and my partners options, and I wouldn’t want to do that to myself or someone I love.

  9. I don’t know….. But finally bought an engagement ring. Now to start the year engagement.

  10. I feel like the marriage question comes up a lot in this group.

    If you have children together, a home, or other shared financial obligations marriage is good as it offers both parties legal protection.

    Other than that, marriage isn’t really worth it, unless you just want to be married.

    Marriage isn’t for everyone, either.

  11. We’ve talked about it- basically she doesn’t wanna get married until we can feel like “real adults” as she puts it. Her original list of standards for what that constituted was both of us with at least undergraduate degrees, both of us with full time jobs, our own apartment, and zero financial dependence on our parents. Over time that has shifted to just the first two standards as she’s become more eager to get hitched.

    I graduate in a year, and if I can get a job lined up for after I’m proposing then.

  14. 1) I’m not marrying anyone.

    2) She’s not anywhere near marriage material.

    3) I’m not dating her or anyone else as a stepping stone to marriage.

    4) You are framing this as if marriage is the natural end and that the “failure” is the guy’s lack of completion of his task.

    5) This looks a lot like shaming and manipulating men into giving up their freedom, wealth, and happiness to a woman who somehow “deserves” it simply by being female.

  16. She was quite a bit younger than me and not very old herself. To get married so early, would’ve raised A LOT of eyebrows. But in that first year we both KNEW we were headed for marriage but neither wanted to say anything for fear of jinxing something. She ended-up proposing to me because she was tired of waiting to make it official. It was pretty funny. I told her that she gave me an amazing out because now I didn’t have to talk to her dad, she now had to go talk to my mom…..since she was the one that proposed. lol!

  17. Why? Marriage is just a ceremony, it doesnt mean anything and just makes things needlessly complicated if things dont work out.

  18. Our combined annual income would be around $200k. Getting married means we go up a different tax bracket.

  20. Because it’s not important to either of us. Marriage doesn’t magically validate our love and it’s not going to change anything between us. It’s a contract. A formal wedding sounds like a hassle and a courthouse wedding sounds cringeworthy, we’ve made it this long without marriage and fully intend to spend the rest of our lives together, what’s the point?

  21. I’ve been engaged for 2 years and haven’t been able to set a date. I think I’m still fearful of the thought of being with one person for the rest of my life.

    Edit: shit, I keep missing that this is the ask men sub. My bad!

  22. Because we both think marriage is a silly and outdated concept that exists only to create legal barriers in the event of a potential wish to separate.

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