Hi this mightn’t be the right place to ask but thought I’d give it a try!
To make a long story short I’ve been doing an overhaul of my mental health including reclaiming sex and pleasure after a long period of trauma, shame and guilt. I’ve found some books that have really helped me (and always on the lookout for more) but they are very feminist and female centric with the topics and language used.
Books I’ve read:
* Come as you are – Dr Emily Nagoski
* Mind the gap – Dr Karen Gurney
* Unfuck your intimacy – Faith G Harper
* How to have feminist sex – Flo Perry
(also have Hold me tight by Dr Sue Johnson and When your sex drives don’t match by Sandra Pertot but I haven’t read them yet)
Which is great for me and exactly what I’ve needed, but my current partner is a cis man who is also dealing with similar issues. He’s read these books as well (and they are helpful) but I was hoping I could find some that are more neutral or male based.
A lot of books geared towards men are telling them how to be better in bed and how to be better for a female partner. My parter is great in bed so that’s not the issue!
Topics I’m looking for are: body positivity, trauma, shame, sexual assault, intimacy, asexuality, kink, sex positivity.
Any recommendations would be great!
(also we’re both bisexual 27(f) & 29(m), been together about a year, with a messy history of sexual trauma and we love overanalysing and dissecting issues we come across)
5 comments
Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms by Matthias Robert
Shameless: A Case for Not Feeling Bad About Feeling Good by Nadia Bolz-Weber
Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein
A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister
The Story of Sex: A Graphic History Through the Ages by Philippe Brenot
Why Is Sex Fun?: The Evolution of Human Sexuality by Jared Diamond
* Ace by Angela Chen
* Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas
* Yes Means Yes by Jaclyn Freidman
* 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do (full disclosure, I wrote this one, but it’s the only introductory guide to kink and BDSM I’m aware of that lists 100+ different kinks along with relevant safety info for each and suggestions for incorporating each one into your sex life)
Following this. I want to know too!
ETA: Oh wait! I can recommend one.
[So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0912CSM7S/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=). Written by a cishet man, very emotionally healthy tho and not at all a how-to-be-a-sex-god typical book for masc folks. I found it really helpful.
I forgot the author but there’s a book called a guide to getting it on, and another called she comes first both are great books
Kama Sutra