I’m a 33-year-old male living in Europe. I’ve been together with this girl for like 6 months or so. It was so great. I really thought I met the one. Everything was just too good to be true. She said the same, that she loves me, and I’m the best she’s met so far and everything. In the first 5 months, we were inseparable. We pretty much met every day at work and home (we work in the same office building and the same apartment building).
Then one day she stopped showing love to me. I was so surprised because this kinda happened so fast and so early. After all, we’ve only been together 5 months. And then she started telling me that she wants to travel. She also asked me what I think about open relationships. I knew where this was going, but I still thought that I might stand a chance with her, because I loved her so much. So I told her that I can’t follow you everywhere, but I’m also willing to do remote work and stuff so that I can be next to you. And for the open relationship, I told her that this is not what I want. She wasn’t so satisfied with my answer.
After this, we decided to give it a try for a month. I wasn’t happy at all. She said that she doesn’t feel like having sex with me. She didn’t take any more initiatives to kiss me or touch me. I really couldn’t believe that this person I loved so much is doing this to me. It almost felt like she’s a different person. Whenever we talked about these things, she told me that she’s unsure of her life, and sooner or later when she’s done with her job, she wants to travel to see more and stuff. But then she said she still loves me.
We took about 10 day break. I wanted her to clear up her mind, although I knew what is going to happen. We met yesterday and talked further. This time I really pushed her: “Cut the travel & open relationship bullshit and just tell me what you are thinking and what you want.” And this is what she said: “I met this guy that I’m interested in. I couldn’t say this to you because I didn’t want to hurt you.”.
Although I knew this was what was going on, but it’s just so sad that this happened. Now I have to move on. Obviously, there is plenty of fish. Thanks for reading this.
11 comments
You’re heard.
You have been witnessed!
Good man! You made the right decision (other then giving the open relationship a try lol)
Often times when love, affection, and sex immediately drop off the table seemingly out of nowhere and/or they start talking about an “open relationship”, they likely cheated already and are trying to retroactively absolve themselves of any guilt in doing so.
Also, I know the word “narcissism” gets thrown around here a lot, but I’d suggest doing a deep dive into overt and covert narcissists and their relationship cycles (Idealization -> Devalue -> Discard). Maybe she wasn’t one (despite sounding like she could be from what you posted) but at least you’ll have the knowledge and awareness to avoid these types in future relationships. These people will put you through hell, and regardless you saved yourself a lot of frustration and pain by just cutting it off the way you did.
Just don’t engage her when she inevitably comes back. Consider blocking her on everything and removing her from your life.
Oh man,feel so bad you had to go through this. Good riddance,better it happened now than four years into your relationship,you would’ve been suicidal. Be cautious of who you’re dating.
Info: how old is she?
Woof.
Don’t think twice about it. You never want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. I went through a 20 year marriage like that. When someone starts being detached, then that’s pretty much it. Use what you’ve learned from this experience to help you grow for your next relationship.
Respect for dealing with this so maturely. Unlike her.
take care!
Holy shit, man, I feel for you. Don’t let this destroy you. I hope you have a frind who you can talk to. You will be fine, just take some time.
You won !!!!! You deserve a loyal woman, forget about her.