so maybe a year ago I (20F) confessed my feelings to this guy (21M). I had never met him before but I had seen him so many times at a dining hall I visited frequently because I lived in the area. conveniently my friend knew him because they were coworkers. so I asked her to give me his number so I could shoot my shot and I simply sent him a text saying ” you’re so fine bro, I want you so bad” mind you during my confession we were in the same place so I could see his reaction. he thought it was funny at first… he asked who I was but I was too afraid to tell him. instead of saying who I was, I told him that we had a mutual friend and we were at the same place, at that moment. he called me weird thinking I was stalking him and then blocked me….
looking back I agree it may have been a little weird but I was nervous and he was out of my league, so i didn’t wanna tell him who I was. a few hours later he unblocked me and I got a message from him, asking who our mutual friend was. I didn’t tell him who it was because my friend wanted to stay anonymous which I told him. he pressed me into telling him who I was and to send a pic of myself which I gave to him just to let him know I wasn’t some creep watching him and that I just wanted to tell him he was cute. he wouldn’t let up on asking who my friend was, and after almost an hour I told him. once he got his answer I was once again blocked. I blocked him right after and kinda went on with my life. I still saw him at the dining hall I went to cause like I said I was always there before, but the only difference was… now he knew my name and what I looked like. anytime i’d go in for food he’d just look annoyed like he absolutely despised me.
I was pretty successful at first at ignoring him, that is until I got a new job. inconveniently that same friend recommended me to her job a while back and I had gone through the process of getting the job. this was way before I had even confessed/ known the guy. a few days after the whole ordeal I was hired to my new job where the guy worked at. I made my schedule so that mine didn’t align with his just because I knew it would be awkward. he definitely thought I was a stalker now cause I was always at that dining hall and had conveniently gotten a job at the same place he worked….
I had completely forgotten about him over the summer, but fast forward to the next semester I had to go back to work and knew id have to face him. the first day we worked together, the moment he walked in I was so nervous. my hands were shaking so bad, and we didn’t make any conversation whatsoever. it’s currently November and we’ve been coworkers since late august and we still can’t talk to each other. every day, he’ll come in and speak to everyone but me. not even a simple hello. I really thought with time, after working w each other he’d see I wasn’t as weird as he thought. honestly, I was wrong. because he’s my supervisor he usually schedules breaks for us and he’ll ask me when I want my break but other than that he will not speak to me. I as well will not talk to him if I don’t have to.
it is a little complicated tho. I always catch him staring at me. like, ill be serving food and in the corner of my eye I can see him staring, or if we’re in different places I can see him looking at me from across the room. he’ll either look away super fast or we’ll hold eye contact before I ultimately look away. while we’re working he’ll move in silence. like he’ll carry out a task for me if he sees I’m struggling or if I’m lifting something heavy he’ll take it away from me instantly. and hell go out of his way to kinda make sure I don’t do something I don’t wanna. I know he’s literally doing his job as a supervisor but it just makes me overthink things. it’s just so confusing cause some days he’ll be cool and then the next he’s like pissed at me. for example, he’ll randomly crack jokes with me and kinda tease me. one day he asked me to help him stretch his arms out. so I stood behind him and lifted his arms up to help him stretch. he literally could’ve asked anyone but he asked me. and another day I’ll be talking to him and he’ll completely ignore me. I simply asked for a customer was one of our sauces vegan and he looked me dead in the eyes and ignored me.
1 comment
Ya know? At first I wasn’t gonna comment but fuck it. I’ve had very similar situations with girls where I’ve done exactly what that guy does, which is why I’ve been watching this post waiting for others to reply. I was curious what people would think about situations like these.
From the guys perspective, everytime I’ve had ‘tension’ like you described where there’s hints at underlying interest it’s for one of two reasons I don’t move things further with the girl but keep staring/flirting occasionally. The first is that deep down I would fuck that girl but I know other people would judge me for it. If you’re an attractive guy smashing a girl others might consider not on your level people will definitely judge you for it or just generally make a big deal of it. The second is there’s some circumstantial reason why I cant date her even tho deep down I want her. There have been times in my life where I legitimately did not have time for a girlfriend OR she was a coworker and even though it was clear I could have her if I wanted, I don’t want to risk dating a girl at my job and everyone finding out it and having the relationship fails. A failed relationship at a job with a coworker is just about the worst thing that could happen besides getting fired, especially if your life depends on your income. A lot of the time it’s just not worth the risk. That would make coming into my job awkward asf and wayyy worse than it needs to be.
To be honest, based on what you said it sounds like a combination of the two. At the end of the day the only thing you can do to find out is to try again and be ready to walk away if he’s not into you. I know this may sound harsh but the truth is infinitely more valuable than sweet nothings.