I (24M) am seeing this girl (20F) that I met on Tinder for the past two and a half months. I am at a point where I want to make things official between us or at least have a commitment towards each other because insecurity on my side was creeping in as I was not receiving as much affection as I was giving her. She acknowledged this and said that she knew she was so cold towards me but couldn’t promise me that that would change moving forward. Her parents divorced about a year ago which really wreaks havoc on her mentally. She still lives in her childhood home with her dad who she does not talk much with. She is closer to her mother, but her mother is also suffering badly from the divorce and so she does not want to talk to her about it to not burden her even more. She obviously was able to open up to me about it a bit and I offered to help her as much as I could, but she could just not guarantee me that our relationship would be balanced moving forward. I know that the best thing is go separate ways at this point, but is there anything I can do to help her? I feel like no one before me got this close towards her opening up and she says she does not have the strength to talk to a professional.
5 comments
You can’t force someone to love you or to sort themselves out. Suggest she try some therapy and if she won’t do it then wish her well and move on.
If you want to help her just be friends without any intentions of being with her romantically and see other people. She’s not in a place to be in a relationship and has more important things to deal with. So be a friend to help her out or leave her be if you can have a platonic friendship.
This sounds extremely dramatic. Like divorce sucks and all, but is happened when she was 19. With the ” she says she does not have the strength to talk to a professional” I feel like she kinda is using this as a scapegoat as to why she doesn’t want to commit to you. “It’s just too much. I am too weak to sit in a room and talk to someone about my feelings.” *eyeroll.*
It sounds like she’s just not feeling things on the same level at the moment; the best thing you can do is give her space to feel that way imo – if that means leaving then I guess that’s what it means
nope. it’s not meant to be. you did all you could and she is “subtly” saying no. you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. probably considering her current emotional state being in a relationship is not the best idea for now. take care. move on.