I \[23M\] would call myself someone who supports feminism. Sometimes I ask myself if my thoughts toward women are bad, and I feel guilty. For example, I have a high sex drive. I feel like I’m always subconsciously checking women out. I feel like my baseline state is a kind of sexual frustration/deep craving because I see women with amazing bodies everywhere.
I know rationally women are so much more than their bodies. I know they’re people. But I feel a lot of sexual frustration and I literally am constantly thinking about sex and how much I would love to do nasty things to women I see.
Are my thoughts objectifying? Is this healthy? I don’t know if I’m objectifying women in my head or if I’m just beating myself up for no reason.
7 comments
Objectification is about actions, not the thoughts in your head. Try not to make your ogling blatant and you’re all good.
Giving yourself crap for being attracted to women is probably exacerbating the situation.
You’re beating yourself up for no reason. You’re a healthy male primate, hardwired to perpetuate your species. These women that you check out are healthy female primates, hardwired to crave sex and ultimately reproduce.
“Objectification” is an abstract concept that has only recently gained momentum. It’s meaningless, in the sense that it’s a meme that is having its moment before sliding back into obscurity as our culture changes.
You seem like a thoughtful, respectful person, which is relatively rare and commendable. Continue to be respectful, but understand that beneath this thin veneer of arbitrary cultural nonsense, you’re an animal with evolutionary programming, and these women are no different genetically to women 400,000 years ago.
As long as you’re able to treat them as complete human beings and conceptualize them as independent, autonomous humans with their own desires outside of these thoughts and attractions, I think you’re fine.
Men have penises that want to be in vaginas and love to think of women in sexual ways. Embrace it. Get into erotic art or writing it will help.
I personally would feel objectified. Finding a woman attractive is one thing, but imagining the things you’d do to them is too far imo. I’ve ended friendships w men because knowing that they’ve imagined sex w me made me deeply uncomfy.
But of course it’s your actions that matter more than the thoughts you have no control over. If you speak to them with respect and don’t make your attraction to them their problem, you’re still a respectful person.
Objectifying women is not about your fantasies. As long as you can fully seperate your fantasies from both how you treat them and how you see them I don’t see it as objectification at all. If that were the case no one would ever be allowed to morally have sex fantasies.