What does self-pity look like and how do I stop giving it off?

4 comments

1. For me its being around people that are always having a bad day and can’t show outward happiness towards people. They are always complaining about things that are happening to them and that is their main form of communication.

   To start getting over it, have some goals in life and work to achieve them It doesn’t matter how small, succeed at something. Read a book this week. Beat a video game. Keep your house clean. Text someone for no reason other than to say hi. Very small things that can be accomplished.

   Eventually, the accomplishments will pile up and become bigger.

   When you are with people, when you dont have something enjoyable to add to the convo, don’t say anything. Be genuinely happy with other peoples good news. Their good news is in no way a reflection of you or what didn’t happen to you, be happy for them without comparing them to you. Eventually, it all snowballs.

2. Seems like therapy could be a positive step. Habits of mind are difficult to reframe without some objective outside help.

3. All I can suggest is recognising you negative thoughts, noting them and letting them pass. As you recognise other people sometimes pick up on your dark thoughts.

   I can’t give advice other than talking to people, if need be talk to the Samaritans ( they don’t just deal with suicide).

   Think about positive things – you are alive, you can obviously afford an internet accessible device, your not starting, your not in a war zone and most importantly there will be tomorrow and another after that too .

4. Stop apologizing, even if it’s just with your body language. Walk into rooms as if you’re meant to be there. You’ll get imposter syndrome. That’s normal. The more you do it the easier it becomes