Hey all,
I’ve been consuming a lot of dating advice and unfortunately most of it seems directed at introverted people by extroverts on how to attract extroverts by being more extroverted…
As a confident introvert and unapologetic geek I would prefer to meet or attract introverted and/or geeky women.
If any of you are here do you have any tips or advice? OLD favourite apps? Favourite hangouts? Favourite online games that I can look at to see if I’d like (I don’t want to spend my time just looking for women I’d have to find the game enjoyable!). Hobbies that you and your friend groups like doing where you wouldn’t mind being approached by a guy?
Thanks for reading.
31 comments
Reddit, tinder
Colleges, working at arcades and stuff like that
Same places where they’d find you??
If you’re into comics, then comic discords, sub reddits, comic cafes, comic shops, conventions.
If it’s gaming. Literally the same thing, but for games or the particular game even.
There was a comment here the other day that basically was saying that women tend to hide that their geeky until their comfortable with that person
Edit: if someone can find and post it I’ll appreciate it lol, it was on one of the dating subs
As an introverted geeky girl, I met my boyfriend at my university Star Trek Society!
I found working for UberEats or Dominos helped me find all the basement dwelling women. But the issue is, you only have about 10 to 30 seconds to “attract them”. So you gotta really perfect your pick up lines.
Just idk as one i think giving enough attention is good
Go to a bar by a nerd school! My school is super nerdy and we are heavy drinkers. Just don’t come on too strongly. I get uncomfortable when a guy is commenting on how I look more than just one thing like “hey your hair is nice.” After all you are interested in her personality and hobbies!
Would you consider a book club? I am in one that is geared toward spooky stories, and I would say most of the people, girls and guys, are introverted. It’s nice having a specific thing to talk about and helps prevent long silences. And you can really see the nerdy side of people come out as we discuss books. I found this group on Meetup and I’ve seen many other book clubs too. There might be one in your area. And with book club, you can spend time getting to know women without it feeling like you’re immediately interested in dating them. We do board game nights and beer crawls too, and these extra events are pretty small, so you can be social and not have to be super extroverted.
Craft fairs
Selection bias my friend. Selection bias is important and not nearly understood enough.
If you’re an athlete and want to date an athletic girl, join a co-ed sports league.
If you’re into bar culture, and want to meet a chick that likes to drink etc… go to bars
If you’re a geeky introvert, go do geeky introverted things. Go to comic book stores, cosplay events, I don’t know exactly what you’re into, but go ahead and do that stuff and keep your head on a swivel. Also if you have any LAYDEE friends see if they have any cute geeky introverted girlfriends. girls always have girlfriends, and many of them cute.
Please, please meet them on OLD.
I’m on OLD to meet men. I go to geeky events to have fun and geek out, not to get constantly hit on.
2 things that you have to know about it. For girls to sleep with you need 2 things. Value and comfort. Usually, extrovert type of party girls. You need to have more value to sleep with you but introvert girls are usually shy, less confident, and expressive so okay not in every case but maybe most of the time they need more comfort than value. How to build comfort? pretty simple. Simply get to know the girl, spend time with her, compliment her that’s usually called giving your power away bc it decreases your value but if they find you too high value you can do that to fill the value gap but its always better to start from too much value then too much comfort and not enough value so it’s probably the best way to go
As a geeky/nerdy girl, myself… (love Star Wars, play MTG, etc), I did the OLD thing, would hang out at game shops and play Magic, or go to book stores and browse.
Otherwise, it was up to my friends to help me meet people. Unfortunately, my friends have all moved away, so I’m back to being a lonely only again. lol
Anyway, those are just some suggestions.
I’ve met too many girls on valorant. I’ve only ever asked out one and technically she instigated it. Didn’t work out with her but technically speaking it could’ve. So just be polite and don’t be pushy. Gl with however you go about finding someone
Reddit is probably the best place for that tbh.
Did you try book stores and art shops?
As a girl who loves to play online games, I’d say discord is really good. It’s a easy way to bond with someone when you play with them often.
Through friends of friends (especially those with mutual interests).
If you’re meeting people (even other guys) through conventions/board game meetups/etc. and becoming friends with them to the point they might invite you to meet other friends, you’re expanding your social circle in general and increasing opportunities to meet someone with the same interests. Unfortunately still somewhat more “extroverted” because you need to be willing to go out if someone asks.
I’ve seen geeky introverts meet through mutual friends at:
– Bouldering/rock climbing
– D&D
– private friend group discords
– work boardgame groups
I’m a geeky, introverted woman (although probably much older than your target demographic. I meet my bf on a dating app. It’s perfect for us introverts…
Be clear on your profile about who you are and what you’re looking for. A good profile is a combination of a advert (to attract the sort of woman you’re interested in) and a filter (to deter the sort of woman you’re not interested in). But keep the tone positive. And when you find her, believe her when she says she’s geeky, don’t ask her to prove her geek credentials.
At the end of the day it all depends on two things:
1) The Male Dominance Hierarchy
2) Opening up your mating sociometer
By climbing to the top of the male dominance hierarchy, you can get any girl you want: introverted girls, extroverted girls, ambiverted girls, etc.
In fact that’s the best dating advice for men. No need for any party tricks; just conquer the world with whatever you are good at, and you will get the chicks rolling in due to pre-selection.
You won’t need to worry about being charismatic. Look at Elon Musk. He’s not really a naturally charismatic Chad, but due to his status within the primal male dominance hierarchy, he is able to attract women.
Next after climbing to the top of the dominance hierarchy, open up your mating sociometer by scanning for girls you would like to spread your genetic pool to, and ask them out.
Pop culture markets, board game hang outs!
Comic book stores, gaming/anime/comic conventions
As an introverted woman lol, when I was OLD I didn’t really have a dating app preference but it did make a difference what guys put in their profiles. If you are able to accurately portray who you are in your profile that’s a huge head start, but if you can include a date idea that’s socially low energy, introverted people are probably going to feel a bit more “welcome” idk. Just word it like “hey, let’s go book shopping at (?) together and grab a coffee” or whatever activity you want. Personally I’d be sold on that as a date idea lol. Meeting people irl I don’t have any specific strategies, that kinda *just happens* based on whatever group activities I’m into at the time. I’m currently dating a guy I met through martial arts, previous partners I met via: OLD, games night (friend of a friend), work, historical theme events lol.
If your current hobbies aren’t really going anywhere with meeting people, maybe find something you’re actually interested to try for its own sake and see how you go with that
Do “geeky women” actually exist?
College, to be more specific the libraries and stem centers in them.
I’m a female (geeky and introverted). I tend to go to book stores, hikes, and museums. I prefer for a guy to just say hi and strike up a conversation while I’m out, but I do OLD also. One day I was at the bookstore, and this man grabbed a book near me and said would you look at the beautiful illustrations.This cover is amazing. I stopped and listened to why he thought it was amazing. I wouldn’t have looked at him while going about my business but his personality got my attention. Somehow we ended up talking about other books etc. good luck, have fun and don’t be afraid to approach women. If she gives you vibes that say get away, say have a nice day and walk away 😊
As an introverted woman, I always preferred bumble. It had a lot of personality questions and the fact that I was in control made feel much more comfortable. Also, it was always a turn off for me if someone wanted to meet right away instead of learning stuff about each other first
Just attracted one lol!!
Well I’m a nerdy girl and I met my lovely partner in our old gaming club! And if I hadn’t we would’ve met either in our local Pokémon Go walking group or our current DnD party. Do what you love and you will meet people who love the same things; probably Nick Offerman’s best advice.
DM them. Chat is the best way to approach an introvert.
Saying this as an introvert