I feel uncomfortable around others and if I’m at a crowded room it’s very likely that I’ll end up turning away instead of facing people, I don’t feel like putting the effort into being nice with my classmates because I don’t think it’s worth trying to be friends with them since I’m different to them and if I’m gonna see friends I sometimes feel nervous. I think that the only type of relationship I’d feel comfortable with would be a codependent one and we all know how those end, I really don’t know what a close relationship looks like. I don’t feel the energy or motivation to socialize with others because it feels like it’s too much work for nothing that has much value. Sure it gives you a good time but then what? I just feel that getting too involved into stuff like that can lead to unecessary drama. I need to practice my new languages by talking with people and I feel scared to do so, either way all I know is that I’m either becoming an introvert, becoming an avoidant or a mix of both. I also stopped wanting to be the center of attention, I don’t like partying.
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Introvert does not mean being anti-social or having social anxiety. Introverts can love to socialize or even be very talkative.
Whether you are an introvert or not depends on your “social battery”. Extroverts gain energy from socially stimulating situations (ex., a party with friends, a concert) and lose energy in situations that are not socially stimulating (ex., a quiet night at home, being in a library). Introverts are the opposite (gain energy from not being in stimulating situations, and losing energy in socially stimulating situations).