I (17 F) have been bullied almost my whole life and I haven’t exactly had the best experience with friends either. Being bullied has completely messed up my self esteem. I now struggle with forming friendships, introducing myself, and overall just talking to others in social settings. I get anxious and my stomach ties up every time I enter a large social setting and all eyes are on me. I feel like people are judging and laughing at me. Because of this, I tend to avoid entering a room full of people and avoid eye contact.
I take a certain subject in school, and this subject has many career paths that require tons of key skills, for example, communication and confidence. These two skills I lack very much. Sometimes when I’m talking I stop mid way because I often stutter when I get nervous. And not only do I lack confidence in approaching others, I also lack confidence in myself due to trauma from bullying. I wanna learn how to approach people without being weird or awkward. I want to be able to have a proper conversation and maintain eye contact without feeling nervous. I don’t want to keep feeling anxious when being a room full of people.
3 comments
get vr chat, go to this world named no time 2 talk, meet at least 1 new person a day from it, if you have anything you want to know about socialising research it and then implement it there, slowly start talking to more people on there. Thats what helped me be more outgoing
Start slow. Something like wishing your neighbor a good morning or the nice lady at the cash register.
From that you can work your way up.
I can’t really get you an Instruction like ‘you have to follow these three steps’ that doesn’t work, every body is different.
Unless you’re shockingly beautiful, or wearing something loud and ridiculous no one’s watching you. Not really. People will on average look at whomever walks into a room then go back to whatever they’re doing. It can be a little isolating but also liberating. Imagine looking at a grove of trees. Nothing to see. Then imagine one tree shaking. Now there’s something to see. Tree stops shaking; Nothing to see.
A good conversation requires that you have something to talk about. Too many people seem reactive. They’re waiting to hear what the other person says. This method sucks. You need to come w your pistols loaded which requires preparation. Have some topics of the day to discuss, things you’re really curious about. It’s easier these days. “Hey, I saw this thing on Instagram, blah blah blah… It made me think of blah blah blah… Then I went to the kitchen and made a blah blah blah…” Sorry, I don’t know what kids talk about these days lol.
Honestly, this is advice from a guy’s perspective. It may not play as well w girls. When my lady friends shift to talking about other people I get bored. (Who are these people? Why should I care?) But my lady friends find it exhilarating. So you may need to adapt my suggestions to your situation.
Think about it. When you have to talk in front of the class, when are you most nervous? When you don’t know what you’re talking about or when you don’t know what to say. Therefore, be a little prepared and you won’t be as anxious.
Oh, and if you have nothing to say, don’t say anything. If people ask you why you’re so quiet, say “Just listening.” If they persist, deflect and make something up “I can’t remember if I locked the door when I left home.” They’ll think you’re a little weird but it’ll get them off your back.