[Advice] My (25F) partner (30M) is very into cross-dressing and I hate it

I (25F) have been seeing a guy (30M) since mid-August; we met through mutual friends at a party. We haven’t had a conversation about being exclusive; Honestly I wouldn’t care a ton if he was seeing other people – I’m a big believer that until you have that conversation, whoever’s bed you’re in when you’re not in mine is not information I need to have.

He is very into being ‘submissive’ in the bedroom. I don’t really mind – A lot of the things he wants are things I have done with past partners without realizing it was a ‘submissive’ or ‘dominant’ situation. I’ve never put a tone of thought into kinks, labels, etc. Just kinda do what feels good and what’s consensual, ya know?

The only downside to this submissive thing is I do sometimes feel like every time we have sex is like a “performance” though – it would be nice to just have sex without coming up with 40 different names to call him during. He is in a very high up position at work so I can see the appeal of wanting to just, not be in charge in one aspect of his life. That’s fine.

Another thing is he is very into cross-dressing. He’s mentioned how he likes to “get pretty” and dress in lingerie. Now, I don’t really care what people do on their own time, and if this was a hobby he did exclusively on his own I really wouldn’t care. He’s told me before (via text) that he’s at home ‘dressed up’ which I think is great if it makes him happy… But he’s worn lingerie while we have sex a bunch of times now and I just hate it. It’s just been such a turn off to me. I normally love undressing my partner but I honestly avoid taking off his clothes because I’m nervous about what I might find (lol). When I go to his house, I get nervous before he answers the door that he’ll be full on dressed up and I won’t know what to say. I have a terrible poker face. Despite having been with women and identifying as bi, I also find it off-putting when he’s referred to himself as a princess or a pretty girl or other ‘feminine’ things during sex. I’m trying to be open minded but it’s been hard. There are some things I feel fine with – I’ve dated guys who always wore nail polish, had traditionally ‘girlier’ tattoos, dressed very androgynous… But the lingerie thing just isn’t it for me. I feel like a terrible person. I’m also a little frustrated because I’ve brought up \~ one \~ thing I like, and he’s shut it down. It’s not necessarily a dealbreaker, but it just made me feel bad that I’ve tried everything he’s asked for so far and been pushing my limits, but he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of what I wanted. He’s a lot better at asking for what he wants – I feel like it’s hard for me because I just feel like I want a boyfriend? And to have sex? I don’t have a ton of specifics, I just like being in relationships, and I like having orgasms. Lol. But yeah, even when he says things like “we should do x” or “would you wanna do y” I have trouble saying no because I don’t want to ‘kink shame’ him.

I’ve always been attracted to more ‘feminine’ men but this is entirely new territory for me. I don’t know how to bring up that I hate this cross-dressing kink without making him feel bad (obviously not my intention). I also don’t know if this is just an inherent incompatibility and we should just end things. I don’t particularly see this lasting super long term – largely due to the fact that it’s been 3+ months and I feel like we know so little about each other. We are both pretty quiet people generally, and most of the time we hang out we’re playing video games before just ending up in bed, so it’s not like we are talking a ton.