My husband (37) and I (34) were together for about 2 years before we got married. We were friends for 10 years before we dated. Our sex life was pretty great. We’ve been married for about 5.5 years now. We decided to have a baby and I was a few months pregnant at our wedding. I breastfed our son for almost 2 years and we decided to have another. I quit breastfeeding because sensitive pregnancy boobs made it too painful. We had a daughter and I breastfed her for a little over 2 years.
I’ve been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the vast majority of our marriage. We’re not having any more children.
I just weaned our daughter a few months ago. Then, I was having a lot of hip pain. Didn’t know why. I was trying a bunch of stretches that weren’t really helping. And while that was still going on, I started having a lot of back pain until I ended up on the floor and couldn’t get up. Turned out I had a bulging disc and they also discovered arthritis in my hips.
Well, the disc seems to be healed. My hips are feeling much better. I think the change in season was causing a lot of the issues.
I knew that pregnancy, breastfeeding, and having babies had affected our sex life, but I guess I didn’t realize quite how much until last night. We were still having sex and it was still enjoyable and I was still orgasming, but it was a lot less frequent and it seemed like we were always having to hurry because the baby would wake up. We’re practicing attachment parenting. Actually, I didn’t realize that’s what we were doing until i read a description and it was like, hey, so there’s a name for it. Cool. It’s just what came naturally. Shortly before the bulging disc, our son finally decided he was ready to sleep in his own bed. Our daughter still sleeps with us, but she’s gotten to the point where I can slip away and she’ll stay asleep.
A few days ago was the first time we were able to have sex since my back and hip problems started. Obviously we couldn’t do it while I was still in a lot of pain. And it was great. Then last night, we had sex again. And it felt so different. In a good way. I was more energetic. Since our sex session a few days ago, I’ve been feeling all flooded with hormones. It’s like when we were first dating. I’ve been all touchy feely. Physical touch has always been my love language, but I feel like with the kids, I was maybe getting a bit touched out.
My husband never once complained through all of this. And I guess things simmered down so gradually, I didn’t realize exactly how . . . I don’t want to say “dull” or “boring” because that doesn’t really fit. I’m not sure how to describe it. But I didn’t realize how much it had changed.
Now, I’m not using my body to grow or feed another human. My body is all mine again. And I feel so much more free. I’m so excited to continue to get closer to my husband again. I feel so alive.
I guess I just wanted to get all this out. I talked to my husband about it last night. And I spent the whole night in his arms.
I’d had niggling thoughts about maybe wanting another baby. But my pregnancies were really difficult. And then, the back and hip problems. I knew that wouldn’t make pregnancy any better. And now, that I’m getting back what I didn’t realize I had lost, I’m fully confident in our decision to not have more children. Life is good. And while I love babies and I love the baby stage, and our children are the light of my life, I don’t want another one. Our family is complete. I wish my bonus daughter could be with us more, but that’s the only thing I would change.
Anyone who made it through all of this, thanks for reading. It feels good to get all of this out. And I’m sorry if it’s kind of rambling and all over the place.