Being 21 is pretty fkn weird, you look at your Facebook feed and for the first time in your life you realise everyone you went to school with is now living their lives at different paces, and most noticeably I’ve seen a few people start get their first homes with their partners, must be nice!
I’m single and finished my university degree a couple of months ago – now on the job hunt, I’ve also been self employed for the last 18 months or so. I have a very healthy relationship with my parents and younger sister, they don’t mind me being here, and neither do I mind being around them too much… I spent my entire time at uni living at home and commuting to campus, which saved me a lot of money, plus the profits from my business have put me in a great financial position for my age!
However, I fail to see the logic in leaving home yet… Surely I’d be incurring a pretty big cost for one person just for the sake of being able to say I live on my own. Equally, I don’t want to fall into the trap of becoming the next Timothy Lumsden!
So, I ask – am I silly for still wanting to live at home at 21? And at what age do you think it is no longer appropriate to still be living with your parents?
**EDIT**: Wow – thanks so much for all the responses, didn’t expect so many, I’ll try to find time to read each one and reply where I see fit!
33 comments
As long as your parents are happy to have you there, you’re fine.
I mean the amount of people between 20-34 living with parents is nearly a 1/3rd of that demographic so….
depends on your background
My god no stay at home! I have friends way older who stayed at home until 28 so they can pay a deposit on a house and work was close. If your good with parents and sister why leave? Rent in insane depending were you are it’s 1100 for a studio flat where I am. It’s not weird and anyone who makes you feel that was is either stuck in the past or close minded. Save up, get a good job and buy where you want to be.
Mate, you do you. If you’re comfortable with it, it’s fine. I was 22 when I moved out. If it was in today’s market, it would be irresponsible to move out with the cost of living.
There isn’t really a normal age to move out any more. I moved out when I was 21 and wish I had stayed home longer, I would have been able to save and buy my own place much sooner rather than paying rent for 10 years. The chances are, once you’ve tasted freedom you’d never want to go back, so take advantage of this time and save every penny you can so it’s worth it in the long run.
It’s 27. Under that age more people live at home, after that age more people live away from home.
Source, I’m writing a report on youth homelessness.
I was 30 when I finally moved out solely because I couldn’t afford to buy my own place. Glad I didn’t move out sooner though because I used the money I would have spent on rent to save for a house deposit.
I’m sure there were people that thought I was a loser but I couldn’t care less
I can’t afford a home so my plan is to live with my parents then when my son is 18 and he’ll live on his own, I am going to live with him
I’m in my 30s now, and don’t know of a single person that is still with the same person they lived with at 21 if they moved in with a partner! I didn’t leave home until 28 – don’t feel pressure at all. Build a career/find a job you like, get yourself comfortable financially and meet people – you’ll get yourself to a position where you’re ready and comfortable to take that step, whether alone or with somebody.
I was 15.
My brother was late 20’s.
We’re all different.
My brother is 34 and lives with my mum and dad. Recently found out he pays less keep than i did 12 years ago.
Fat fuck still has the cheek to try and tell me why i shouldnt be skint with a child, mortgage and 2 cars
I have friends who moved out at 21 and pretty much their entire pay check was gone on rent, bills, travel and then going out. My advice is save while you can and move out for the right reasons, not because everyone else is!
I moved out at 18, my household was so toxic. If you all respect each other, help around the house and it’s cool with everyone stay until you are ready to start your own family.
I lived at home until 24 I paid board to my mum, worked full time but it was cheaper to stay at home until I wanted to move in with a partner, I have a friend who is 31 and lives at home to support his parents, depends on the person and reasons I would say
>Being 21 is pretty fkn weird… … most noticeably I’ve seen a few people start get their first homes with their partners, must be nice!
Be slightly wary of this. A lot of people at that age are quite insecure and feel like they *have to* start building a life at that age. House, marriage and 2.5 kids etc.
Some of them end up splitting up at around 28 after a few years of being miserable and sticking together solely for the kids.
21 is not old at all
21 is still an age of finding yourself and figuring out what your next career steps are. Do not feel like you need to jump to being an adult with a mortgage and family just because others are.
Remember just because you see it on social media and everything seems glossy and great, a lot of the time it really isn’t. If I had a house and a mortgage at 21 I would have felt so trapped and worried about my future.
Enjoy your 20s, this is the best time of your life
I moved out at 19 but shared a flat with friends which made it affordable. I only earned £800 a month working in an off licence at the time but could afford the rent and share of the bills, mobile phone, going out drinking, partying etc… It was 20 years ago though so probably life was a bit cheaper back then.
Don’t move out just for the sake of it, if you’re happy and home and your family is happy for you to stay then you should stay and save up your money. Move out if there’s a reason you want to move out beyond what you think other people will think of you.
Don’t worry about what anyone thinks.
If you leave home at 18, good for you being independent. If you stay until you’re 35, well done for saving a massive chunk of cash.
Times have changed and it’s not even a choice for a lot people. At 21, most people are still living with their parents, that is a fact. Don’t give yourself an ultimatum. Something will happen that will make moving out make sense at that point in time. A long term partner, a new job further away etc
I really hope you managed to make the most of university whilst living at home.
Everyone I know who stayed at home during uni subsequently regretted it once they realised the freedom they had once they finally moved out.
Life’s not all about the bank account, you’ll never be able to repeat those carefree times of your life!
No it’s not weird at all. Tbh I don’t think it’s weird at any age. In other cultures families live together under one roof. If you’re a functioning person who still lives their own life then why does it matter if you live at home. As long as you’re not staying there to not work and sponge off mum and dad forever. If my dad wasn’t at home I’d move back in with my mum and I’ve lived alone for the past 9 years.
In some cultures families live together even when their kids are older, I think that’s nice. I’m 30 and only moved out 2 months ago because I couldn’t afford to beforehand, didn’t really want to be on my own and I have a bunch of mental health issues so I’m living with my sister/her bf and paying rent
Living at home and contributing while saving some money is a good idea
In this economy, there’s no age that’s too old to be living with your parents. I just feel lucky to be older ( or just plain old) and not have as many problems with housing that young people have.
Your parents may see the logic in you leaving home.
The country is fucked and everyone is struggling. The whole attitudes of ‘you should have moved out by now’ are out of the window at this point, we just do what we can to survive. If someone has parents that are willing and able to support them by letting them stay with them then they should consider themselves fortunate.
I’m nearly 30 still at home while saving. It makes more financial sense than renting.
It’s not a big deal to be at home, anyone tells you other wise tell them to go fuck themselves.
Stay at home for a few years, save a deposit then buy and house to move out into that. Don’t go rent and pay for some asshole land lords mortgage for them because someone says you’re too old to live at home.
I am 24 and Mexican. I just graduated and had surgery all in a span of less than 6 months. I had to return to home as I cannot work for a few months.
I am searching for jobs now, but in Mexican culture it is not weird to be living with your parents btw.
I think there’s a difference between having never left and leaving and returning for whatever reason.
I would think more oddly of a 35 year old who’s never lived independently
I dont judge others because I’m not an a-hole.
I prefer to listen to their story. Some people had a divorce and moved back aged 45. Some people are carers aged 25. Some people are saving still and are aged 35.
It doesnt matter.
What the real issue is why the economy is in such a state that an ‘adult’ cannot freely gain independance. Why are house prices impossibly high etc.
I have 2 sons still at home, they are aged 30 and 25, it doesn’t bother me at all and I’ll miss them when they do eventually leave. The oldest has worked hard to build a good career, he’s saving a deposit to buy a house and he’s expecting to move out next year. The youngest is much less financially secure so I expect he’ll be home a good while longer. It works for us, we get on well and respect each other’s privacy and spaces, I’m not going to see them struggle when they don’t have to.
As long as you’re not just wasting your life away i.e. stacking money, helping with bills/mortgage, I’d say moving out is the bad option. Rather be helping mum with £500/mo Vs paying some dumbass who picked up some cheap property and turned it into a rental.
But man, society is brutal. Have a mate in London who earns a really good salary. He didn’t move out til he was over 40. Stayed at home, paid his parents mortgage, paid his brothers uni + car for uni, paid for his sister’s weddings, always happy to help friends with DIY/moving projects etc and still saved shit tons and had a social life. Growing up he got so much shit about living with his parents it was unbelievable, you’d literally have someone paying £1500/mo for a box room in a 6 bed house share with a financed car telling him how much of a loser he was because he lived at home. Was disgusting tbh.
I think these days normal would be to live at home as long as possible as long as you are contributing to the household. We won’t be kicking my son when he’s 18, we have a plan to charge him some rent to help with the bills and put some of that aside as a return gift when he does move out.
I’m 28 and honesty it fucking kills me whenever I have to go home after work.
I’m a skilled worker in the construction industry and can’t afford a house or children.
What’s the fucking incentive to work / life anymore?