Saliva as lube for the hand during a bj

So my wife and I are each other’s one and only’s. We have been together since high school, now 40. Only recently has she opened up to giving me bj’s but still it’s just as foreplay.

I have read a ton and I’m sure she has too that if your jaw gets tired or whatever to use your hand as part of the bj.

So when she does this it’s really uncomfortable. I find no pleasure at all, in fact it moves me backward a little bit. So she will be sucking, it feels great, then the hand gets involved and it just sort of skips and stutters around.

Is she just not using enough saliva? When she gives me a handjob I require a fairly decent amount of oil or lube, same as when I masturbate. If I spit on my hand to masturbate there isn’t nearly enough, so I’m confused what people do to make using the hand during head pleasurable?