Women who dated/partnered with someone pursuing or have a PhD — what is worth sharing about your experience?

5 comments

1. We both did a phd at the time and it didn’t affect our relationship in any way. If anything, in a positive way since we went through the same kind of stuff like work without pay and pulling all-nighters studying.

2. Scheduling is a huge deal for us, especially when we weren’t living together. We’d try to hang out at least once a week. We still go out of our way to do the same thing while we’re living together.

3. The last few months of write up were hectic and stressful.

4. I don’t really think there was anything special to it

5. Finances can be tough. Funding may or may not be available; in most cases you apply for it and can win or lose it year to year. You may need to be the primary income.

   The schedule can be tough but in some cases the flexibility is an asset. Prioritizing time together is important.

   I found things ebbed and flowed with semesters. Busy periods and slower periods.

   There may be research and conference trips which can be lots of fun if you both can go.

   I think having kids makes things more complicated but several fellow PhD students had kids already or had them during their PhD (mostly the male students to be fair).

   It can take a long time to complete.